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Posted on Monday, March 8
Posted at 5:15 PM
Posted at 5:15 PM
So now I'm kinda stuck between hell and.. the living world. But actually on second thought, it's hell in the living world already. LOL.
Fucked.
In this 1 month, I found out things I wished didn't happened. No, I want to find out, I want to know. I hate being in the dark and not knowing anything. I really hate it. No I'm not gonna bloody tell anyone what happened 'cos I still insist on being a good person. And I don't wanna hear about how I'm making stupid choices in my life.
In this 1 month, I totally lost energy and strength to do anything passionately at all. No I don't wanna work I don't wanna study. I think I'm even losing interest in playing DotA competitively. And now I just got so sick of Jubeat that I'm gonna avoid it for the next 1 week or so. I'm going to go crazy one more time I hear clover and sonar pocket. Sigh. And I wasted money yesterday trying to improve my scores when I know I can't 'cos I only had 2 hours of sleep zzz. Everything is beginning to be a pain in the ass for me.
The thing is even retail therapy doesn't work for me COS I HAVE NO EFFING MONEY AT ALL. The plan for this whole week shall be to rot at home. Or I should probably go learn beatmania or something. Or try to boost my self confidence.. Nope, impossible.
I hate this. I wonder how long this can last, what can be proved to me. Maybe until the next "oops I did it again".. Lol. But then again, a part of me really hopes that this is the last time I'm gonna get hurt like this.
Fucked.
In this 1 month, I found out things I wished didn't happened. No, I want to find out, I want to know. I hate being in the dark and not knowing anything. I really hate it. No I'm not gonna bloody tell anyone what happened 'cos I still insist on being a good person. And I don't wanna hear about how I'm making stupid choices in my life.
In this 1 month, I totally lost energy and strength to do anything passionately at all. No I don't wanna work I don't wanna study. I think I'm even losing interest in playing DotA competitively. And now I just got so sick of Jubeat that I'm gonna avoid it for the next 1 week or so. I'm going to go crazy one more time I hear clover and sonar pocket. Sigh. And I wasted money yesterday trying to improve my scores when I know I can't 'cos I only had 2 hours of sleep zzz. Everything is beginning to be a pain in the ass for me.
The thing is even retail therapy doesn't work for me COS I HAVE NO EFFING MONEY AT ALL. The plan for this whole week shall be to rot at home. Or I should probably go learn beatmania or something. Or try to boost my self confidence.. Nope, impossible.
I hate this. I wonder how long this can last, what can be proved to me. Maybe until the next "oops I did it again".. Lol. But then again, a part of me really hopes that this is the last time I'm gonna get hurt like this.
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