Okay I just wanna say my life has been fucked up by Gregory Tan and a bitch ever since I came back to Singapore. And for some reason I still decided to stay with him. Not that he begged me to anyway. It's all my own choice. Wow lucky guy?
Cos no I don't wanna go through learning to be single and living without him. No I don't wanna be sad for god knows how long with no one to make me happy. No I don't want to.

So now I'm thinking if only I didn't go to Thailand. WOW nice. I bet my life would still be great now. But still, even if I did not go, he lied to me already. No I don't really care if he lied, as long as he didn't really DO SOMETHING. Too bad, I went to Thailand AND was determined to be a good girlfriend and not drink a lot/flirt etc unlike him. So am I not supposed to let him get out of my sight now?

How I wished I could be like him. Being able to do such bullshit. I can't even fucking do it man. Wow I'm actually quite disgusted. It's so unfair. He knows it but he doesn't care. LOL unfair so? Ahahahahhaaha. Kns. I'm so useless man. 


So now what.
I don't know. I can't really do anything to that bitch anyway. Since she'll probably say I can't even "keep" my own boyfriend ya da ya da ya da. And yeah my head is so filled with images ideas thoughts images images images. Imagining her leaning on him, hugging, kissing ew. Seriously, AM I A SAINT OR WHAT?!
Fuck.

But if I can't let him go, I just gotta blame myself in the future if I get hurt like this again.
It'll probably be byebye fuck off then. No it won't happen again, he says.
And for some reason I am believing it. Not totally, but still. Even now I'm still not sure if I know all the truth. Am I still being lied to? Is he still hiding things from me? As long as he denies, I doubt even if there is, there's no chance of me to find out.

Tired. Fuck bitch. Angry.
I seriously don't know if I should be angry at him, the bitch or myself.
Why do I have to go through all these shit when I'm only 18years old.
Zzzzzzz am I gonna have the same fate as my mum or what?! Walao.


I'm glad there's at least someone to talk to, play dota with during this period of time. I'm glad that at least I truly laughed and smiled even though I was breaking apart during this bullshit. Or am I just unbreakable? LOL.

Okay I don't know what I'm saying already. Fuck you bitch. Okay I wanted to curse her to get drunk and raped but nevermind. I think I'm nice and I shall be nice even to her. So all I'm gonna say is fuck you bitch. Bye.