This is Kimberlyn speaking

-

2012-01-10T17:44:00.001+08:00

I started 2012 with a regret.
But now everything's much better. I don't know when I'll stop feeling so tired but I hope it's gonna be soon.

I'm not saying I'm not happy. I am.
After all I made decisions for myself and moved on. I just hope you do too. I'm not used to being the one hurting people. Not sure where all these tiredness is coming from.

So afraid too.
What if all the plans I made for myself didn't work out. What if everything I told myself not to do I did. What if the next stage of my life is just a mutated version of my past. Wouldn't I just be going in circles?

I try to be the person I wanna be but I can't deny who I really am.
Does that even make sense?

21

2012-01-02T18:53:00.001+08:00

And I'm 21 this year.

Making a huge change in my life. I should have probably done this last year.

Not sure what's gonna happen to me but I just hope I'd be able to find out what I wanna do in life.

New year resolution for 2012
No fast food for the year.
I'm gonna prove everyone wrong.

And just enjoy making friends and become a sociable person.

2011-12-08T10:37:00.001+08:00

I was screwed up a year ago.

I still am screwed up now.
It'd be easier to blame people for it but there's actually nobody to blame than myself.

Always taking the easy way out and now it's just getting more complicated for me.
I really am immature.

日本へいくんです!!

2011-09-18T01:38:00.001+08:00

私はお誕生日日本へいきます！！！

本当に幸せ！o(^▽^)o

Didn't expect to be able to head to japan so soon!
So many places to go, so little time. And the timely release of Jubeat copious in japan is making me damn excited. Can't believe heavy rotation is in copious. Ahahaha! 4 more days I CAN'T WAITTTTTT.

Can't decide if I should go to Disneyland or Sea. :( all the reviews online said sea cos it's exclusive to japan... But I haven't even been to the land before :(

If only we didn't have to go to Mt. Fuji... But I'm not complaining! Free trip there! I'm really really thankful for it!
うれしいー

Very worried about how much I need to bring there so that I can fully enjoy myself... At least I'll have my birthday ang pao fund HAHA.

And Japanese lessons at Bunka has been so wonderful. I can now read hiragana! Damn amazing. Really love the language!

私は寝ます～
お休みなさい (￣ー￣)

Twelve Cupcakes

2011-07-20T23:20:00.002+08:00

I've started work here! Twelve Cupcakes! After months of rotting away on dota, Tumblr and animes and dramas. :/ Saw Daniel Ong's recruiting tweet by chance and decided to go for it 'cos I reckon working in a cupcake shop would be loads of fun. AND IT IS~ I can't describe how much I love working there. Maybe 'cos it's only the first week haha.

Love the brick wall. And of 'cos the awesome cupcakes. Best I've ever tasted!

Green tea. One of my faves. With red bean paste inside! Ahhhhhhhhh~~

And Red Velvet! Our best seller. Sold out every day! It's crazy man. But I love it too! Cream cheese frosting on top of a light choc cake!

And Daniel looks so sad here huh. LOL after a crazy day of baking. Really feel for them sometimes, the bakers and them bake non-stop for around 8hours every day TT and we're still sold out everyday!
Anyway we're at United Square Basement! Very near the entrance just opposite Subway.

I have a feeling I'm gonna gain so much weight... I've been eating cupcakes almost everyday I work. Going to buy a box tomorrow after my massage too. :/ and after that 2D1N Soju Bang LOL. Zzz and I already gained a lot of weight. Couldn't fit into my taobao leather jeans anymore. Feel like killing myself.

(´･ω･`)

2011-06-26T16:01:00.000+08:00

It's so depressing to realise that I have nothing to write here.
Because there is absolutely nothing going on in my life right now.

And I have no right no whine.
(´･ω･`)(´･ω･`)(´･ω･`)

Melting

2011-06-08T15:14:00.000+08:00

dying.

WHY IS THE WEATHER SO WARM.

So tired.

Sigh, 钱真难赚... Becoming more depressed the longer I do this.

HOW TO FINISH BY FRIDAY?!

Going crazy. Lucky I didn't attempt to finish everything alone. Sigh.

I need my bra

2011-05-29T06:40:00.000+08:00

Don't really wanna wear my nude bra with a t-shirt out tomorrow. I'll feel so damn insecure. Zzzzzz, but I guess I have no choice.

Peach Garden.
Some spam food, spam buy things. Therapy.
Disappointed to some extent but I knew I wouldn't succeed in the first place anyway. Lol, cos this kind of wonderful and good things doesn't happen to me.

Hmm...
It's already June. Lol.
What to do with my life?

Argh.

Let go

2011-05-09T12:50:00.000+08:00

3 months ago, I told myself that I will never torture myself by giving a damn anymore.
That if I were to go on this path I will never give myself trouble by caring too much.

So, now I shall remind myself of that and not give a damn.
Or at least pretend not to.

It's okay, it doesn't matter.
I won't even ask about it.
I'll sleep it off.

After all, a part of me has already resigned to the fact that they're like endless waves of zombies. Undying. Or whatever.
How will 2 people so different work out? Beats me.
But I think the chances will be significantly increased every single time I make the right decision to shut up.

48

2011-04-28T15:16:00.000+08:00

4. 48.

说长不长，说短不短

And time doesn't matter to me anymore.

It doesn't matter in a relationship anymore.

But still...

Shall keep the things I really want to say a secret.

*chants*

fame? ha-ha-ha

2011-04-21T15:39:00.000+08:00

And so, we appeared on Yahoo SG news. Homepage. Picture. Face. News.
Nope, didn't expect it, and nope I'm not crazily happy about it. Since I was in the boiling mood. I seemed to have cooled down a bit, after 2 days of not playing. I'm going to continue not playing. Positive effects noticed after I decided to say no. It's really sad when something I used to love so much has become a chore, a pressure. People I used to love playing with, I don't anymore. I wonder if it's 'cos of the change in me, or them? Why do I feel so irritated when I'm playing with them now? Like the have an opinion in everything I do and thinks I'm a joke. Rofl.

Will not name some people, but I wish I was like them. Oblivious to how damn lousy they are and still be able to blame other people for their mistakes and be confident. Superficial, shallow but yeah. What wouldn't I give to be a total airhead.

And... ah, never mind.

Job issue too. What a pain.

That I'm so unmotivated. Turns out things I though I was passionate about, I wasn't really.

Now what?

Still a kid after all.

大家都好吗？

2011-03-29T16:52:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of something, which I am considering to do or not.

It's such a big part of my life, what would I do without it? Who would I be without it? I bet I would be in a bigger identity crisis is I proceeded to act out my dream.

But it's torturing me in some way. Sigh.

And the age. My age. 20.

Being forced to wake up and leave my lala land.

Just missing the past everyday now. Really horrible.

Was talking to marc yesterday, and I can't believe he's my ex boyfriend rofl. Seriously? Everything's a blur.

+ I can't stop thinking about what I said to him few months back when he called me asking me for advice. I felt even more horrible when I realised I don't remember what I told him.

I shouldn't have said anything back then, when I was in a mess myself. I'm pretty sure I said some dumb stuff. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I thought I was smart. Pffffft.

Just wanna see the people I care around me be happy.

!?!?!?

2011-03-22T15:31:00.000+08:00

The amount of retards in Singapore playing dota using garena is getting more, either that or they're all coming out of their shell becoming more prominent.
Suddenly exposed to so many retards bm-ing and accusing people of maphacking when they get mindfucked.
ARGHHARGHARGH getting on my nerves.

I think it's 'cos I expected a praise, instead of an accusation.

Dota making me angsty.

bulging

2011-03-19T01:14:00.000+08:00

I need to kick away the bad habit of eating whenever I'm feeling down.
Feel damn bloated now but all I wanna do is stuff food into my mouth and do stupid stuff in dota and laugh at myself when everyone else is probably laughing/cursing at me. Or maybe not 'cos they expected me to do stupid stuff 'cos I'm stupid and a damn lousy dota player.

Yeah, drowning in self-pity again.
Whining again.
So down I can't even bring myself to be excited at the teaser for HP7 part 2.

Sigh, why do I feel like I won't feel so sad now if ahhua is around.
Don't know how the hell I'm going to perform for next week. I think I'm getting a bit cocky - suffering retribution right now.
Mmm...
Food, I need food.
Some hot soup...

sour

2011-03-16T03:22:00.000+08:00

Sour skittles hurts my tongue so badly. But I can't stop eating them.

And I just experienced gosu dungeon in RIFT. 20mins = half exp bar. Song bo? And my party is really great, that imba tank cleric omg.
I really love healing people, for some reason. People like greg says it's damn boring but it's not please. So exciting when people pull adds in WOOOO. High.

Turns out we're going to that malaysia compy in the end.
Have a bad feeling about it, plus I'm going to be in debt again. After clearing my $800 debt, I'm soon going to be in $150 debt to Huayan. Zzzzzzz which means I need a job soon. The competition better be worth it - good games to watch and fun matches to play. I hope I don't noob there, even I can't stand myself anymore. + seems like most of the stuff I do is wrong/not the best. Maybe I'm just sensitive.
Why can't I be so confident of myself like other people even when they're lousy? LOL to be honest I don't know where they get their confidence from. Pfffftttt lend me some.

Sigh.

pile of sludge

2011-03-13T20:55:00.000+08:00

And so, I'm back from Taiwan and am slacking away. LOL supposed to find a job but really, procrastinating.
Taiwan was really really really fun even though we didn't do as many stuff as we planned on doing LOL walao seriously the weather killed my mood a little. Didn't expect it to be so damn cold there ><
But still, travelling with Huayan is so fun hehehehe.

Didn't really wanna come back to SG. The arcade there so damn cheap?! Clothes so damn nice? And cheaper, even though not by a lot. BUT STILL? + you can wear boots there without being stared at like you're a freak. Bought a pair of boots there and I'm so glad I did LOL best choice I ever made in a long long time.

I know right so cute omfg. LOL

Ahhhhhhhhhh and we saw PANDAS omg damn damn damn cute. Why SG zoo got no panda?! ): Then Huayan bought this panda plushie from the souvenir shop and she has been obsessed with it and speaking in the kid voice ever since.

It's name is Zebra by the way, I gave it to him/her. LOL unisex!

AND THE MAGNUM MASCARA DAMN SHEN QI MAKE ME GOT EYELASH SEE SEE SEE. Damn excited LOL at least can see something now TT

And Shilin was overrated leh actually. TT but gotta admit that the food there was damn nice, just that I thought there would be more varieties instead of most of the stalls selling the same stuff and snatching customers. But the legendary XXL chicken was good! Though quite salty.

AND I BOUGHT FAMITSU BACK OMFGGGG SONGBO. Why SG don't have such nice magazine shops?! Why why why!? So happy when I stepped in or. The whole store has 3 levels somemore omgggggg jealous. Bought a Rorona and Totori picture book for greg too weeeee. Ex but SO NICEEEEE.

----

Anyway, Jubeat Knit Top 100 really has some shit songs TT ALL MINDFUCKED MEEEE. Damn sad that I couldn't exc love you sigh. And I upped my score for share the world and indian song a game BEFORE it was my turn to record score WALAO. Then got mindfucked... if not my score can damn high one omgggg. This is real disappointing.

And my dota is really damn lousy zz. Only comfort = rift. At least for now I feel damn lihai in PVP-ing LOL.

Wuwuwu, can't wait to go Universal Studios. Still feels like I haven't played enough yet.

Bye Singapore

2011-02-26T23:36:00.000+08:00

I went to the most amazing place yesterday, for a wedding dinner.

Grand Shanghai. I love love love the place to bits. It has such an... old shanghai, chinese ambience. And the lady who was singing live, all those old canto and chinese classics was just awesome. And the couches and layout of the place. And the lightings.

If not for the fact that I'm 100% against wedding banquets, I would be saying that I'd like my wedding to be held there. Cheongsams ftw.

I drew my eye damn black yesterday.. I mutated into a whore.
LOL and my nose is reallllly damn big huh?! Makeup can only do that much. I'll never be satisfied with how I look. I realised I like my eye to be this black. I like my lips to have no colour too.

And I wonder if I really do look horrible. Or is it just 'cos this isn't ME. This is me, I just choose not to show this side of myself to others frequently. It's just easier to be a plain jane.

I don't give a damn actually, about what others think.

Wouldn't it be liberating if people actually think I'm a crazy slut.

Wouldn't it be great if I could actually let myself be a crazy slut for once in my life.

But no, I'm sane and rational. This is as far as I would go.

I think I look pretty awesome. Except for my big nose. But pretty damn awesome.

Which is why, I love travelling. Wait and see, when I finally go on my Japan trip. Wait and see how I would dress up.

And so, bye Singapore. Heading to Taiwan in 7 hours.

With dear Huayan who is wants to be crazy, but in different ways from me.

Hallucinations

2011-02-22T02:59:00.000+08:00

It's really sad.

I don't think it's cos I have too high expectations for myself anymore. Been feeling invisible my whole life, yet I have this weird strange quality in me to always persuade myself that I'm special and not just normal. Plain. Boring.
I'm just too tired to inject any positive thoughts in my brain now. Or many it's just all these years of living in denial lol. Sometimes I wonder if I should just surrender and accept that I'm gonna be a typical Singaporean/woman.

I look at the people around me and all I see are sparkles so bright I would curl up in my cost corner instinctively.
Considering if it's time to let it go. It'll be so hard... Letting go 1 of the few things I'm ever proud of. But I don't think it's doing me any good. I fee like my brain and heart are twisted and in all sorts of knots which will never be untangled. Most the time I tell myself to be contented with life and what I have now. But the other times I just feel like throwing a damn tantrum to let people know I'm there in the shadows.
But that's not me. I don't throw tantrums. I'm rational.
This is so pathetic.

Hmm, maybe period's coming.

肥脸

2011-02-20T02:54:00.000+08:00

I think my face has expanded horizontally.

Which is quite sad... Sigh. So other than fat thighs, fat tummy, I now have fat cheeks.

When will I get "fat" boobies!?

Piled makeup onto my face tonight and I hope I won't have to suffer another pimple outbreak. Scary how my face is mutating and rotting at an amazing speed. Become uglier by the day. What is happening to my complexion?! I don't really want to be dependent on expensive makeup for a fake skin.

---

Internship has officially ended. I AM A FREE VEGGIE NOW WOOOOOOOOOOO.

Really wish I could run away and not have to find a job to support myself but too bad I have to.

I'm feeling sad for a lot people recently.

好人不会有好报的.

The ugliness of the world is freaking me out. Why is everyone so scheming and selfish?

I want to play Wii/Kinect's dancing games... I want................

I wanna dance. But only in the privacy of my own/Greg's house. I'm too self conscious to wriggle in front of strangers.

Really wish I wasn't.

I forgot what I wanted to write about

2011-02-10T10:27:00.000+08:00

... Hmm..

Shall start by whining I guess.
Intership is beginning to be a pain in the ass. The experience was enjoyable at first, but after some time I guess I could start to see te true colours of people at work. I don't think it's only people in my industry who are like this - selfish and protective of themselves. I feel like I'll be sabo-ed if it means saving themselves. Sigh. Not to mention that I really feel out of place in my team. Why?! Like... I'm the lowly intern who's not worth their time talking to. Zzz I'm just sitting at my desk at a corner everyday. Really can't wait for this internship to end.

And head to Taiwan.
Can't put to words how much I'm looking forward to the trip. Away from SG and responsibilities and work. Feel like running away, don't wanna grow up.
Lol, I'm like a kid, the way I'm talking.

------

I just spammed Jubeat yesterday, after god knows how long of not doing so lol. Seriously, how long has it been? I think more than 6months? Maybe a year, ever since I started IIDX. And now I'm sick of both >< just that 1 day of spamming Jubeat is enough to make me sick of it. To think I use to be so crazy about it that I played every single day :/
It was fun though, finally SSS William Tell and EXC-ed Real Voice which was unexpected. :D

Maybe it's time to go back to my roots - DotA. But it really isn't any fun playing alone.
Sigh.

shy

2011-02-01T14:27:00.000+08:00

I had NO IDEA this videos were taken when I'm playing LOL I was probably having too much fun :/
It really makes a difference man, the attitude you join a compy with HAHA. So fun when I went there with a whatever attitude.
That's why I not very paiseh to show this video here. This was when I was up against Yuhan! First time playing with her! She's really good man lol. Grats to her for winning! The fnals would be more exciting if she was up again Jiemin though, totally wasted!

HAHAHAHA 1st song = 1 of my top few hated songs, Can Can. -_- No words can express how much I dislike that song. It's irritating tune, brainless notes and maybe those countless of ahlians/ahbengs/act pros who keep spamming this song and playing it with 1 hand etc. Jubeat people should know what I mean LOL.
Could have done better but LOL halfway i decided to try and tap the buttons 1 by 1 instead of the usual slide. Instant regretted HAHAHAHAHA lucky the video didn't capture that part :/

2nd song = Goodbye Chalon. I was quite disappointed with my score to be honest LOL could have done so much better. Think I was so excited I wasn't really focused hahaha.

Compy so fun! Omg they should like make this a quarter yearly thing. Since the prize so low anyway, low maintainece. And girls compy = guys turn up also LOL
SO FUNNNNNNNNNN.
Wah but after this round I pk-ed Heki LOL. Didn't know what I was doing, I think the amount of fun I had made me a little crazy TT
Totally not serious at all. Domirrrrr :< and I chose Slang LOL.
Hao wan jiu hao! Hehe.
Hope I made a few more friends... TT didn't really talk much to the rest of the girls. >< is it me?!
Wuwuwuwu.

it's a sin to feel so pretty

2011-01-27T02:35:00.000+08:00

Went for team filming for some stuff. Make up make up make up. Eyeliner really does work wonders.

I'm not really fond of mascaras though.. always have such a hard time removing them zz. But I think I need them, with mascara, my eyelashes are almost non-existent. ><

Anyway, I FEEL SO DAMN PRETTY AND THIN TODAY. It's the makeup and new hair and the PMS top man. For some reason the PMS top always makes me look/feel damn skinny. <3 the top LOL

Hua <3 and me. Ohhhh, what will I do without her.

Super sad that my face has DOTS ON IT. Zzz I'm gonna become moh peng soon...

Acting cute at its best

And of 'cos the 7 of us. I look damn short huh. Zzzzzzzzz WHY AH?! Damn it.

And 'cos I feel so pretty and thin, I ate mos burger and A LOT OF icecream at ice3.

I'm so dead, I shall jog an extra round tomorrow night. >< Ahhhhhhhhh, I'm so gonna regret this.

And I'm trying hard not to be a makeup slave LOL walao really so big eyes leh.

How?

Happy Gina Day!

2011-01-24T19:42:00.000+08:00

Gina is finally 13! Time to grow up man!
Lol, 'cos of her birthday, we're gonna have steamboat + crab for dinner!
Ahhhhhhh, my jogging.. I think I need to start jogging more! Went for my first ever jog yesterday and it's so horrible. I don't understand how people can feel refreshed/song after a jog. ><
But I shall preserver to slim down!

Super broke too lol. Shouldn't have spent so much at the arcade yesterday, but it was a once in a bluemoon chance - NOBODY WAS THERE! How to resist not playing IIDX?! Lol, + I normal cleared Mendes okay. Totally worth it!

+ I totally owned mahjong on Saturday :D
Fei is so fun! HAHAHAHA I was losing so badly at the start then win back heeeeeee.

And now Gina is complaining that I didn't give her anything for her birthday.
Hmph, my birthday she also never give me anything! Not paiseh one.

so angry i can't even begin

2011-01-19T20:15:00.000+08:00

Can't fucking believe it.

Can't believe I can still feel hurt over stuff like this.
So damn pissed. As if I'm not already pissed enough with my tummy already.
Wah fuck man. Cb.

FUCKING HEADACHE.
I JUST WANNA GO DIE MAN.
Maybe just fucking chop of my fats first then die a pretty girl ccb.
AM I A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU!? CB.....

So tired.

my red hair stained my white tee

2011-01-18T17:01:00.000+08:00

And how could I have forgotten to write about my newly dyed RED HAIR.
It's not as red as I wanted it to be but still... quite red? LOL I wished the red would show more without sunlight though.

Seems like brown here eh? ):

I don't want brown! Lol but the daily dropping colour when bathing reminds me that my hair is RED. :/

Got a shock when I was bathing that day, and the water become red... LOL I thought my hair was gonna become black again >< Zzzzzzz money wasted if that really happened?! A lot a lot a lot of money would be wasted... 2xx... heart...pain................. I wonder if it's really worth it. LOL

I hope the red will get brighter the more I wash it. BRIGHT BRIGHT BRIGHT and super bright by the time CNY comes. I hope the colour doesn't fade by then. That would just be sad.

And I have cock fringe again now. Maybe I should stop the bangs style... LOL but I look horrible with side swept fringe too. Damn it. No fringe also ugly... I think it's my face. Zzzzzzzz.

veggie delite

2011-01-18T14:58:00.000+08:00

I lost my wallet.

Not gonna blame it on anyone but I'm sure I wouldn't have lost it if I was alone.
So... IC, ezlink, student pass, POSB card.. arcade cards... and many other chapalangs gone. Including Huayan's lovely xmas note and the neoprint we took. Thank god I was so broke I didn't have any money in my wallet?!
I really liked that wallet though... Where am I gonna find such a nice fake LV wallet. LOL
Sigh.

Queue at the bank was terrible... all the ahsohs changing new notes for CNY.. and when it was finally my turn, the staff's damn computer just had to hang. I seriously doubt I would win any 4D/TOTO if I bought. Fm says I should 'cos I lost my wallet. He said Wan won $500 when he lost his wallet.
But Wan's lucky, I'm not.
Sigh.

Munching on veggie delite subway lunch now. I really really really love the subway at Keypoint. Why does the subs always taste so good?! Why is my tummy so round?! Zzzz.. it shouldn't be this size when I'm only 20. Really hard to say I love my body now.

Anyway,
www.threewords.me/kimberlyn
to tell me what you think about me in 3 words. I quite like the website.

SHOPPINGGGGGG

2011-01-15T01:36:00.000+08:00

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.
I am fully aware that I will have to slog my guts out for at least the next 3 months to be debt free but still... SHOPPING REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY!

Taobao has so many many many cheap and preeeetty shoes! :D
I really hope I would be able to fit into size 39 heels... Sigh, it'd be so so so sad if I couldn't wear them out to show them off :/
Zipia is making me broke too! HEHE so many nice dresses! God, more than 200 SGD on it. Poor FM who has to lend me money... he's lending me for my hair too la. Omg, so nice. I'll work super hard to pay him ASAP! And of course Huayan's dad 'cos of the taiwan trip ><

Can't wait for all the stuff to arrive! I can go on a new clothes spree during CNY! Hehe just found out I'm gonna have the CNY eve half day and the following Monday off. DAMN GOOD MOOD.
HEHEEHEHEHE then I can wear all my new stuff and feel pretty.
Also made up my mind to try putting on makeup this CNY LOL I'm gonna be a changed person. WATCH ME.

+ True Love 971k today! SO DAMN HAPPY! Could have gotten a higher score though :/ Just hoping it doesn't turn out like Sweet Angel.
Almost hit 9th dan today too damn... furthest I've ever gotten to! Almost... almost!
*shakes butt*

weird shape..

2011-01-09T18:52:00.000+08:00

LOL this cracked me up. Bee Cheng Hiang gonna run out of shapes to use soon man. LOLOLOL.

WHY HAS BA GUA EVOLVED TO THIS SHAPE?! LOLOLOL

~

2011-01-09T16:54:00.000+08:00

Mahjong with fei is... like a roller coaster ride.

LOL but definitely more exciting then the normal boring mahjong. Now I can understand why some people go on and on about how fei rocks.

Mr. Elbert and me damn pro? Okay actually I think it's only him LOL. I was suay-ing him the whole night.. even made him lose all his chips and go into negative for a short period of time hahaha. First time seeing EMPTY DRAWER. He started winning like crazy once I went to sleep zzz. Straight away man tai zi mo... Nice.

Am I a jinx?! I've always thought I was somewhat a jinx.

And CENTURION IS STUPID?! -_-

I KNEW it would be stupid. Zzz almost puked my Hot Tomato Express dinner out.

See!? Should have watched Love and Other Drugs, at least can see 2 hot people having sex or something. LOL I'm gonna keep whining about this man.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Starting to like tying my hair up but I think it makes me bald... head hurts everytime I tie up my hair. TT

Counting down to CNY! 2 more weeks! Fast fast fast fast fast.
Damn, haven't even saved any money for Taiwan zz, dead dead dead dead dead.
SOOOOO many temptations too.
How?!

New year resolutions

2011-01-02T00:59:00.001+08:00

Not sure how much this is gonna work, but since I'm bored... Here goes nothing.

Be a mahjong pro
Exercise regularly - anything but jogging
Cut down on junk/fried/unhealthy food
10th dan
Catch up on the youth I've lost
Visit every worth visiting club at least once :D
ZOUKOUT 2011 WITH HUAYAN! *roars*
Europe?! Japan?!
Figure out what I want do for a living
Learn dancing - gee gee gee gee?
At least gold league in SC2
Still able to say I've huahua as my best friend
Friends friends friends
Stop being a jealous bitch

LOL

Like a bullshit list.

happy birthday huayan love!

2010-12-29T13:50:00.000+08:00

I feel damn song WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Huayan, Cloud and Beanie came over to my place yesterday for mahjong and I KILLED THEM ALL WOOOOOOOOOOOO. Omg it's my first time winning so much and I'm super happy but feel so bad winning the birthday girl's money LOL.
Tested and proven - do NOT play mahjong on your birthday.

And Cloud was being such a nice guy and gentleman, he could have man tai a few times but didn't SO NICE RIGHT?! TT there was once it was 包发财 'cos he pong 红中 and 白板 already! Then Huayan 不怕死 throw the 发财 -_- but Cloudo didn't hu! So nice.

I LOVE MAHJONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG heeeeeeee.
When I'm winning, of course.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUAHUA! I'll always be here to remind how old you are ^^
She didn't bring the speaker the team bought for her back ):

I know this is supposed to be like a Huayan's birthday rocks post but I just need to post this k:

RESORT ANTHEM IS OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT *SCREAMSSSSSSSSSSS*

OMG this is so exiciting, I went to Sim Lim Square to buy hua's birthday present so I decided to pop by bugis tka since I'm nearby. I walked past the machine to the token dispensing machine - didn't notice the resort athem-ed iidx cabinet. It was only when I turned around when I saw the PRETTY ORANGE HAPPY HOLIDAY INTERFACE OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Instant orgasm.

Hehe.

He-he-he.

Hi, hi, and hi

2010-12-28T15:23:00.001+08:00

LOL wanted to go to blogger but I forgot I had the chinese keyboard thing on and that came out. TT silly silly me.

Finally caught Gulliver's Travels! Easily contented.

It's so funny and Jack Black is really awesome even though I can't really watch him when he strips and makes his fats jingle and wobble. Jack Black, Jason Segal, Emily Blunt (being a bimbo princess) and Amanda Peet - 'nuff said. LOL

We WILL do this every single time we go out from now. LOL I think I really need to have a hair cut soon, damn fringe. Pimples popping all over my forehead 'cos of the fringe I think.. + I look really horrible when the fringe fights for space with my specs..

I realised he always wears weirdly coloured tops... ok not weird, uncommon.. guys don't normally wear tees this colour right?! I wonder if he has a pink top o.o

Went to eat ba kut teh after the movie and seriously, I'M NOT KEEPING TO MY DIET. Damn it. But the soup was so good.. worth it. Then ahhua decided to do this chili kebab or necklace as she calls it -_- We tried to make elber take a picture with it but he keeps refusing. So not steady one... then keep emo somemore. Shall not ask him out for movie anymore! Beanie on the other hand, makes me wonder if he's still drunk HAHAHAHAHAHA. He told us he used to be x2 his size, can't imagine. TT

Then Beanie brought us to Bedok Resevoir and he said he has this SPOT he used to always go, bet it's some hanky panky spot. Anyway it's quite awesome, if not for the fact that I'm terrified of the dark and weird things that may come up from the water I would probably go there more often.. Or go into semi orgasm like ahhua did. LOL. I really like that picture by the way, though I look quite horrible. Huayan said it looks like the opening picture from himym... it does, doesn't it?

Feels good to be making new friends/talking to old friends. But still, I went into this semi crazy state when I was home and facebook-ing. Damn he has this natural ability to piss me off. And I bet he knows he does and secretly enjoy watching me be stupid.

... k.. Maybe I'm being dumb and crazy now. I blame it on the period and hoarse throat and runny/blocked nose.

Shit.. I need to go out soon.. Sim Lim.................. OMG

~

2010-12-25T05:58:00.000+08:00

自作孽

Am I just a confused young and stupid girl?
It feels weird with you around, it still does without you around. Someone ought to give me a tight slap, I can probably make out a few who would like to do that.

I should stop trying to be anybody's somebody. I think I'll make that number 1 of my new year resolutions.
Damn.
*paws*

Merry Christmas ^^

2010-12-24T16:50:00.000+08:00

HHAHAHHAAH this is really fun to do and funny to watch :D
I can't stop replaying it hehehehe. CHRISTMAS FEELS SO CHRISTMAS-Y THIS YEAR!

Hehe, best thing is THE TEES TURNED OUT FINE ON HIM hahahahah. Omg I'm such a genius.

HEEHEEHEEEEEEEEEEE but we broke up.

LOL we're so weird together HAHAHAHA.

Zzzz

2010-12-21T23:54:00.000+08:00

Damn I'm so disappointed!
I went to print 2 tees as a Christmas gift and collected them today. I just opened them up to see how they look, zzz adding on to my already bad mood, the tees are TOO BIGGGG. Why the cutting of the tee so weird?! It looks so different from the sample one I held in the shop. Damn it damn it damn it, now I'm ashamed of my present. I HAD SUCH GOOD LINES ON THE SHIRT DAMN IT. Zzz, at least the 3rd one was acceptable...

Really sad...
I'll go cry myself to sleep now.
Sigh... 他不会喜欢我了~ 呜呜呜... or is it 唔唔唔? zzzzzz
WHY IS IT SO HUGE AT THE SIDE LAAAAAAAAAAA.......................... Don't even wanna give it to him now already.

All I want for Christmas is...?

2010-12-21T22:52:00.001+08:00

Starcraft II
That very cute polka dot birken-like slippers from Rubi
Arcade spree! :)
New pants/shorts/jeans/skirts
Not first round out, heh
Shopping vouchers?
Professor Layton :<
A not revealing but sexy one-piece swimsuit! - An attempt to start exercising

My first ever Christmas wishlist, a tad too late but nevertheless - fun.

I actually wanted to do this happily but my ass brain net is pissing me off. I seriously have no idea what's wrong with it and what it wants from me to not cock up every single time I'm about to play a SC2 game. Trying very hard to resist the urge to throw my stupid laptop and modem down 13 stories and head down to stomp on them.

I DON'T EVEN WANNA PLAY SC2 NOW ANYMORE, I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO POST THIS.

... Okay, it's working now.

BUT IT'S ALREADY NEAR 11PM, time to sleep. I was supposed to sleep around an hour ago when I hanged up the phone... But as usual, always not able to do the things I want. Great.

Around this time next week, I'll be listing my new year resolutions for 2011 which I'm sure I will forget about in approximately 1 week.

I can't wait for Thursday night to arrive.

Then I'll party and and finally face my post break up craziness... Maybe. I was so calm after my break up it's unbelievable. I think every person who breaks up has to go for this crazy therapy thing to move on. It's time for me to do so, I think.

Actually, I'll just start now - &^@#^#*@#&)$^(*@^#(& AHRGAHRGAHRGAHRGA *punches laptop*

New beginnings

2010-12-19T21:04:00.002+08:00

So, I've finally decided to change my blogskin.
Really like the whole design of this one, the drop box and all.

First ever attempt at drinking/socialising yesterday night lol. I wonder if it's bad if I say I really like the taste of martell and chivas. Fm's birthday, so happy birthday to that emo guy. I have seriously no idea why he looked to emo at sushi yesterday, I sure hope it's not cos he's sitting opposite me -_-

SOOOO anyway, here's an imba picture of him. :D

My mind is suddenly blank... zzz. I think I need good rest. My crazy sister started waking me up at 10am when we were supposed to meet our grandma at 12.30pm.

I would like to do this drinking thing more often, but it's really too much on my wallet for me... For the first time in a long time, I actually felt free... or something like that. Just feels good to have some fun without any other worries.

And what's best is there's Huayan! I'm not going to make an effort to explain how happy I am that she's the closest friend I have now and I hope, for as long as we don't try to kill each other. I'm a jinx, so no... I'm not gonna jinx her away from me. Thank god I have her during this period of time and vice versa for her LOL.

Well, 'cos of the drinking, my plans to meet up with Nic for Jubeat is gone TT and I'll most probably have to live without arcade for this whole week. The curse is happening again, I'll fail terribly whenever I'm determined to improve. Damn.

I'm screwing up a part of my life, and working hard to make the other part right. Lol.

I think I should start over again from zero... I don't know. I'd be psychic if I knew.

I wonder if I tried a new beginning, would I end up in the same place from before.

Gina isn't helping my emo self now, singing an emo korean boyband song loudly and emotionally in the living room. Thanks sis.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

2010-12-13T23:00:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO 8DAN 8DAN 8DAN 8DAN 8DAN 8DAN 8DAN 8DAN.
Can't wait for resort to come so I can attempt 9 dan with a higher chance of passing!
HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Been noobing a lot in SC2 wwuwuuwuwu. Zhen de mei tian fen.
And it really sucks playing at home with a shitty net and a laptop. ):
I want a filco!

++ ah hua and me are going to Taiwan this coming March! WOOOOOOO! Even though I'm SUPER BROKE and it costs a lot (quite cheap already though).. ): I have to save all my pay from internship and I think it's only enough to cover the air ticket and hotel. HOWHOWHWHO go Taiwan eat shit. Damn.
But I'm so excited :D First time going overseas with A GIRL ONLY and we're planning everything ourselves. Cool shit. Can't wait for March to come!

When you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile

2010-12-02T19:54:00.001+08:00

At some point of her life, every woman will want a guy to think of her like this.
It was only until recently that I started to enjoy this song, before that I hated it lol. Only when I noticed the lyrics, did I like it so much. I've always been a lyrics person when it comes to english/chinese songs.

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
I'd never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

4

2010-11-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

Work is actually so much better than I expected... though I have to work on Excel like an ass. I seriously think my company has an affair with Excel...
And it's being a bitch to me, I had a damn headache trying to tally the numbers AND THEY JUST DON'T. Zzz... What's gonna happen if I can't solve it tomorrow. Omg..

Bacons + eggs @ office for breakfast tomorrow! Darn happy LOL saw caterers setting up the plates etc when I left just now. I think I'm gonna put on a lot weight during this internship period... All I do is eat and sit at my desk, and eat more. LOL wuwuwu.

I miss gaming a lot.
And.

.. Shan't think! 4 days are gonna pass by so quickly, I hope.

2010-11-25T23:43:00.000+08:00

#@&(^#@%#@%#*^@#)^@$^&^##&)$*($&#!()^$&!#
lkajsakljf apsoidjfvmpeaowimvjciowpaevnmpsoavnmauoprv hnouavnaepojmvxn[aeimvrnoeavnrao envojaen rvpa

......................
Okay, I just deleted a whole sentence I wrote in caps and realised I should calm down.
OKAY.
I shall not think about ANYTHING and go to sleep now.
I will do just that.

Okay, okay... OKAY.
K.

bi

2010-11-25T16:02:00.001+08:00

I wish I was really as nonchalant and uncaring about things as I say I am. Things would probably be so much easier. For me and other people.

It's really so hard to be the considerate and nice person in a r/s, in school, at work, in this world. Lol. I blame my PMS for my emoness this few days.
If only I was a little more confident of myself... Or even a little braver... Being scared really takes a toll on me. Zz and I'm ALWAYS scared...

Really thank god for those few people I have around me who understand what I'm thinking and going through. I think I actually am making some true friends. Hope it's not short term, cos I've had quite a few of those.

The next 1 1/2 day is going to be horribly longggg... So many thoughts I can feel like head stretching. I think I'll be writing a lot till then...

2010-11-22T18:38:00.000+08:00

This, is what I have to say.

opened

2010-11-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if I'm making the right decisions in my life right now but at least I know that I am happy and I won't regret making these decisions.
Well... The probability of me not giving a damn about what people think of me will be as low as the chance my tummy has to be flat has. However, I AM gonna try... to not care and just be happy.
After all, I want to live for myself now... and do things that make myself happy.

2010-11-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

I've got so much on my mind right now.
I can't wait for the new year to come. Somehow I have this stupid hope in me that I will be perfectly happy when this year is over.
Then I don't have to worry about hurting people.
Then I won't be afraid anymore.
Then I won't have stupid nagging voices in me telling me I'm making a bunch of horrible mistakes.
Then I probably don't have to worry about running away.
And I need not be concernced about weird unexplainable things suchs as bonds between 2 people so strong they can practically repel everyone else away.

I'm going through an emo phase right now.
Did I make the wrong choice?

replays I want to show off

2010-11-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

This is a tad too late, but here it is. Asterisk's ESTC replays against the 2 thai girls teams.
I was quite proud of my performance until I watched the replay. Everything I did was... well, expected lol. Not exceptional, not horrible either. Disappointed. At least we won.

PMS Asterisk* vs Axis.Gigabyte Ladies - Link
PMS Asterisk* vs Roccat.Try - Link

2010-11-11T21:02:00.002+08:00

Well, I SHOULD really change to Tumblr soon, shouldn't I?
Beginning to feel irritated to try and put my thoughts into proper sentences.
*skips away

really

2010-11-10T08:11:00.000+08:00

I'm okay, surprisingly.
I'm really okay.

I feel confused, indecisive and irresponsible now though. I'm a coward too.
And I'm tired now.

I miss the filco. Kinda.

2010-11-05T03:34:00.002+08:00

I love him so much I'm losing myself.

2010-10-28T03:17:00.000+08:00

showcase of my fat thighs after thailand trip. horrible.. lol

I went for lecture today, miracle miracle. And Clarissa baked these rainbow muffins lol, they smell super fruity but dangerous to eat haha.
Went for movie with Jerry and Amanda. It's been a long time since I've went out with them lol. Paranormal Activity 2! Great movie, but Jerry couldn't stop laughing during some parts. Felt like smacking him.

Neoprints LOL. Gotta wait for them to go work tomorrow for the scanned version but this will have to do for now. Jerry's eyes are ultra fakely enlarged LOL and god I love neoprints. 12bucks though. /stab
Went on to meet lux willy cloud ice for astons. God knows how long I haven't had astons and it SUCKED. What the hell happened to my grilled fish with herb?!
Damn. Played a few games of Jubeat and owned cloud's ass (as usual hahaha) and 1 game of iidx which was horrible due to ultra platform + my heels. Lol. Then they wasted loads of money catching small toy keychains.

Okay la, quite cute actually. I got a devil one. Ahhhh..
No school, no training, no nothing tomorrow. Lol. Oh well.

And gri's a little sick. Wished I could be there with him now but... sigh. Still a bit traumatised over what happened the other day. Don't know if I will be able to look her in the eye when I see her.
Get well soon baby.

estc 2010

2010-10-20T19:09:00.000+08:00

We took this after we won the stagematch against Axis.Ladies.
Do I look happy? Well that's 'cos I was happy. Used ES for stagematch @ ESTC again -_- People will start to think that's the only hero I can use. Lol.. And I was so happy that I got to use VS for the showmatch against TRY, the other thai girls team. VS~~ how long has it been since I got to use VS hehehe. I think I was having so much fun catching that sometimes I tp-ed places I shouldn't. HAHA and I don't KS okay. TT

ESTC was quite fun I guess. I think we overstayed LOL. I grew so sick of the thai food and there's nothing to do at night near the hotel! And I am still on a losing streak for monopoly deal. And I ate so much...
+ the ice lemon tea there... TASTES LIKE SHIT. It has this weird after taste, cyn says it's lemongrass. SO THEIR LEMON TEA = LEMON GRASS TEA? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I can't live without my lemon tea.

Cyn and me went to watch a movie at Siam Paragon on the last day 'cos the others were in couples TT and there's this staff using an iPad to take orders! SO COOL RIGHT! Omg, super super super cool. Anyway Charlie St. Cloud is a stupid movie, don't ever watch it. It's not even worth renting/watching online -_- Waste of time. Before the movie started, everyone in the cinema suddenly stood up and a video started playing on the screen LOL. I think it's the national anthem HAHAHA it was hilarious. Not the national anthem la, that situation where cyn and me didn't know what we were supposed to do.
It was a lucky day too! We saw the royal family exit Siam Paragon! They sealed of the whole area -_- So we got stuck in the mall for around 15mins. Lucky day!

I'm just glad I'm back in Singapore. I smiled like a retard to myself when the plane landed here. :/
And grigri kinda wiped that smile off my face at night. Lol... I don't know man........ so confused right now.

Harry Potter

2010-10-12T03:53:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter.
I'm suddenly going mad crazy over it. Deathly Hallows movie part 1. I really really can't wait.
Why is everything about Harry Potter so awesome, J.K Rowling is a genius man.
I need to read the books again! Damn I miss waiting for the release of the next book and mass stalking HP sites. And mass reading HP fanfictions especially of Draco and Hermione. Draco~~~~~~
My life feels so lousy without HP now... I love my mum for forcing me to read them, that's probably the best thing she has ever forced me to do.

The movie better be good. I can see myself going crazy if it ends up as sucky as the previous ones.
(Emma Watson is so damn hot I think I'll be a lesbian for her)

expecting too much

2010-10-08T05:51:00.000+08:00

You know... All I am expecting from myself now is not to be a burden to the team.
You know... Like everything I do can be trusted and..

Hmm... It really feels different playing the game and watching it after.
Things that seemed (felt?) good doesnt seem so anymore.
I'm 4years into DotA and I've achieved not even half of what I want. Lol.
Which sucks.
Why am I always just an average person no matter what I do. Average in life, average in studies, average in IIDX, average in Jubeat, average in DotA.
Damn, why can't I just be one of the best at something and suck at everything else. I think I would be happier. Maybe...

Maybe I'm just not working hard enough.

confession

2010-09-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

IIDX is confusing me.
Just when I wanted to take a break from it, I am suddenly improving and finding myself clear 10s and 11s easily. :/ just easy cleared Mendes [H] and Contract [A] today.. and normal cleared Blue Rain [A], Bad Maniacs [H] and Elisha [A] (finally). Don't really dare to post it on facebook even though I really want to.. so afraid that people will think I'm showing off lol. But I feel so acomplished and happy everytime I achieve something I want it to be in black and white LOL. Maybe I should do it here from now on.
And I think I'm over 8th dan. LOL it's okay if I'm not one anymore. Even though Daniel and others think I already am 8th dan standard rofl. Hey, I have a mental phobia of that course. And stupid Daniel keep forcing me to play 8th dan 'cos he's pissed that I can't pass it -_- zzzz and I just disappointed him again today wuwuwu. LOL
But I can always console and defend myself. Which 7th dan person can clear Anisakis [A] or Gold Rush [A] or whatever else I've cleared? I'm really proud of myself for achieving so much in less than 6 months of playing IIDX. Really really want to make more friends through this too... When I see gri and Daniel.. with their o2jam, they made so many true friends. Kinda jealous to be honest. Never experienced that in my life. What's the point of playing a game if there isn't people sharing the joy of it with you? Lol.
When I think back to when I first started IIDX, it was 'cos gri was crazy over it and I was so bored playing Jubeat so I decided to try the game out. And when Sirius came out, I was totally crazy over the game haha. I really love the songs and the challenge it gave me.. and the satisfaction. I didn't even think that I would be good at this game.

I'm confessing my love for IIDX. LOL <3 <3 <3
My birthday is next week and I'm gonna wish that I'd be able to achieve 9th dan by the end of this year. I love you IIDX. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

WORK HARD u asses

2010-09-09T19:45:00.001+08:00

Have been pissed at people who don't need to work hard to get results recently.

Maybe it's just a case of being sore. They can, I cannot.

But the point is, it's so irritating when girls these days can just bat their fake eyelashes and pout their lips to get whatever they want when I had to work my butt off to get to where I am now in DotA. Maybe 'cos I'm lacking the appearance factor, that's why I have to work so hard on stuff that matters like the game itself. I try to hard to improve my skills and accept any criticism positively. Why is it that the new generation have the mindset that they are so super good that they can do and say whatever they want?

It's just so unfair. But that's how life is.

Is it me? I just can't see myself as being the top. There's always someone better than me, something I haven't learnt that I need to. I wonder if they get this. I would bloody remove all their privileges and force them into a DotA boot camp if I could. Will they be able to go through what I went through? I'd bet my pretty hair not. So protected and spoiled.

All you need is a pretty face and a talent to flirt to get your way now.

Ya, I'm just damn sore.

FEVO!

2010-08-26T18:27:00.000+08:00

So I got my hands on my very own FEVO card. That picture there is just an example of what a FEVO card looks like. Will upload a picture of mine soon!
Actually, I knew about this FEVO card long ago when Amanda got one from her boyfriend. And her card had their face on it LOL good thing about FEVO is that you can customise your own card! And I heard it works as an ez-link as well.

I'm wondering what I should use my FEVO card on..

grow up please

2010-08-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

My first time doing a jump shot successfully LOL thanks to manhua's lihai lumix. For some reason I couldn't find the button to change the settings to multi-shot/black and white etc. Zzz shit camera.

I'm still missing the Shanghai trip, mostly because it was super fun and my only job was to have fun. LOL
And now I'm buried in so much school work to do. A full individual report, a radio ad script, a role play for a press release. Zz, I'm really stressed about the role play. Can't bring myself to start on the report either.
I know I can't procrastinate at this point of time but HOW CAN I DO ANY SHIT WHEN THE TRIAL IS ON THIS SATURDAY?! .. sigh.

+ my mahjong urge has officially been awaken after last week's mahjong session with huaman, cyn and dawn. zzz.. and cyn SWALLOWED MY MONEY. Damn she's good.. grigri says he will teach me to win her LOL. I bet he will lose to her too. Dawn's new kitty (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL) mika scared the shit out of me. I'm not used to having SOMETHING FURRY THAT MOVES in a house that goes around licking and pawing people.... mika is a dog. A cat that plays fetch... and smells stuff.. and licks people. WHICH CAT DOES THAT?! -_- I'm scared of that thing even though it's tail is sooooooo cute.

Games.
I think I'm going to take a break from IIDX.. and play more knit. AND persona 3 portable. Hehe, my first ever RPG. It's so fun and easy. And I just got to show off - I almost SS I'm So Happy and almosttttt SSS Sweet Rain. :/ Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Edwin~~~ come to bugis more often! Lol.

1 thing that's in my mind a lot nowadays - why are kids now so immature?! They think they are very matured but no. Sigh, it's so hard to communicate with them when they think that they are the best and have no manners at all. I'm a bit worried Gina might end up like that, she's already sprouting all kinds of vulgarities I only knew of when I was secondary three. Gosh..

2010-08-19T00:56:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah I'm so damn cool.
IIDX is still the best.
Shanghai was super fun and I wanna go to the next event too.
Knit is super hard but I super rock 'cos I S-ed Aliba first try and A-ed Air Raid on first try. Eat ma shit! HOHO.
K-on is so damn good too!
Can't wait for asterisk's trials! :D very excited to get to know more girls who play dota!
And I lost my specs on the bus today. Mummy was funny. "How did you lose it? Shouldn't it be on your nose?" -_-
I'm now suffering wearing contact lenses for the whole day TT

DON'T HUMJI COME JOIN GIRLS!

2010-08-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

What are you waiting for?! Free trip overseas OMFGGGGG COMEEEEEEE~ LET ME CHOMP ON YOU!

ZIPIA ARRIVED AND IT FREAKING ROCKS OKAY HAHAHAHAHA.

2010-08-06T01:34:00.000+08:00

I wanna achieve my 8th dan soon! I hope I'll be able in time for Jubeat Knit's release! HEHEHE suddenly very very excited about knit 'cos I realised the note charts for the songs are quite hard! +++++
Many many nice songs! OMR, Love and Joy and Blue Rain's sister, Sweet Rain. HAHAHA. Spending a lot in the arcade but it's really worth it.

Holiday starts next week but there're so many stuff to complete during the break.. A bit worried about my radio group LOL what if nobody wants to let me join their group tomorrow. GG.
And Cyn's back which means FULL TEAM TRAINING. HOHOHO. I dunno, I can only hope for the best. TT AND I'M GOING SHANGHAI AGAIN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. 1 word to describe my feeling now - SMUG
LOL, super happy I'm going on an all expense paid trip to shanghai! This time with huayan the man pretending to be a girl, and cyn! HOHO all expense paid HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. AND the main point is we get to visit the World Expo!! Omg it's like a dream come true! I wanted to go when I heard about it and saw pictures of it on magazines AND NOW I'M GOING WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hehehehe imba xlbs and preserved chicken wings! Hehehehehe. It'd be perfect if grigri will stay a good boy when I'm away. ): be a good boy~

I finally decided to cut and dye my hair too. Ash brown? Gold? Haha.. need to get some cash though. TT Zipia killed me. Quite worried about the bangs part LOL
Shall I go tomorrow? Or on sunday? HMMMMM. Just can't wait to play IIDX tomorrrrrow! WEEEEEEEEEE.

hm?

2010-07-17T01:27:00.000+08:00

Horrible.

I'm fattening up again, and hoping that SOMEHOW ddr will help me lose some flabs. I think I'm demented.

I'm still aimless. Bye.

zipia!

2010-07-08T19:09:00.000+08:00

ZIPIA IS SUPER ADDICTIVE. I think I'm dead. -_- I hope all the items will be nice and worth it! Gonna go on a shopping strike after this, need to save back the money I spent LOL.

This is bloody 22 USD.. the skirt....... SO PRETTY~~~~~~~~~

But I think it's gonna be hard not to spend money this few months.. with Jubeat Knit coming out next month.. and I'm desperately trying to achieve 7 dan in IIDX. Seriously shit 7 dan... Another 10s or so I can pass already!! Nevermind, at least I think it's easier to achieve than 6 dan. I really want a DAO.. 450sgd? LOL I think I would rather spend the money at zipia. :/

Last week was quite disappointing 'cos I didn't get to intern at Grey in the end.. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 空欢喜~
So now I'm just hoping that the one at amk will accept me! I'll be super happy if they do. So near me!! :D

And training is backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk~~ nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~~ ):
Even though it's fun but still........ it's a COMMITMENT.A RESPONSIBILITY. And I am seriously considering changing my nick to bunny HAHAHA. Maybe not. I'm not acting cute okay. or bun. bun* is cool huh.
buns* HAHAHA THAT'S LIKE REFERRING TO BOOBS.
It's times like this that I really miss lancraft and irc. Smurfing and changing nicks etc..

Trainingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

and I hope it's not just a show

2010-07-02T11:19:00.000+08:00

USS

2010-06-23T23:16:00.001+08:00

UNIVERSAL STUDIO IS FREAKING FREAKING FREAKING FUNNNNNNNNNNNNN! If only the Battlestar Galactica was open.
PICTURES LATER WHEN I GET THEM.
WOOHOO I'M SO GOING BACK AGAIN! WHO'S UP!

it's not a quarter after one

2010-06-15T01:38:00.000+08:00

:D weehee I like my new laptop! Asus! Hope it'll last long than the Vaio ><
But this Asus is in boring black T.T doesnt matter!

And Qingy bought my ELF things for me already! HOHOHO happy! First time I'm investing in make-up. Reckon I need a concealer and things just started to escalate from there HAHA. Oh shit, am I gonna become a make-up freak soon... nah I doubt so. -_- too lazy to be bothered with make-up and removing it LOL.

This 2 weeks isn't a holiday anyway. Still have so many things to do, sigh. Resume, and more projects. -_- Nooooooooooooo I don't wanna grow up.

WCG qualifiers at Funan was terrible by the way, more than 5 times of reloads and a bad pl. Sigh. I think I'm on my way to become a useless player rather than improving. DAMN.. and I really miss beatmania. Even though I still cant freaking pass blooming feeling. Zzz stupid ass song.

I'm actually quite tired now.. I've been feeling very tired and having headaches nowadays for some reason. But I gotta go Parklane to watch World Cup later! Italy vs Paraguay? I gonna bet draw LOL :/

2010-06-11T13:20:00.003+08:00

I just really want to say this, that I really wish them all the best in their future compies. I've never been close to them, and now that i think about it, i think it wasn't exactly a good parting either lol. I don't think we're better than them, just that being here is just more suitable for me.
I think whatever I say would just seem like a sarcastic comment lol. But i think it's time to just say what I want to say.
Ya I know I'm just rambling nonsense here lol. Whatever la.. Lets all jiayou.

2010-06-02T10:58:00.004+08:00

I wanna kill huayan 'cos she's going to ESWC@Paris when I'm gonna be stuck in Singapore at school. The main point is, it's DISNEYLAND IN PARIS OKAY. OKAY?

:( I'm gonna smuggle myself into her luggage.

And I can't wait for Dawn to get back so we can start some intensive training for WCG. I don't know how we're not gonna first round out but I know we'll try our best LOL. Arghhhhhhh it'll be EPIC if we don't fro.
And interschool is next week! Weeee I think it's my first time joining! I swear I'm gonna be star player instead of burden. MARK MY WORDS!!
Lan compies make me happy :D

Oh and I just have to mention that our 3 member training yesterday was GREAT 'cos I got to use SF HAHAHAHAHA damn song! Even though I keep razing wrongly HAHA but stilllllll woohoo! K bye!

2010-06-02T10:58:00.001+08:00

I wanna kill huayan 'cos she's going to ESWC@Paris when I'm gonna be stuck in Singapore at school. The main point is, it's DISNEYLAND IN PARIS OKAY. OKAY?

:( I'm gonna smuggle myself into her luggage.

And I can't wait for Dawn to get back so we can start some intensive training for WCG. I don't know how we're not gonna first round out but I know we'll try our best LOL. And interschool is next week! Weeee I think it's my first time joining! I swear I'm gonna be star player instead of burden. MARK MY WORDS!!
Lan compies make me happy :D

Oh and I just have to mention that our 3 member training yesterday was GREATEST 'cos I got to use SF HAHAHAHAHA damn song! K bye.

happy birthday

2010-05-25T12:24:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday Gregory Tan.
Lol that was somewhat monotonous.

Well, I truly hope that the best part of his birthday was the fact that I'm here with him and not the part where he clubs and drinks crazily with whoever and whoever.

Met up with many many people yesterday to eat @ Hotpot Culture at Marina Square 'cos of his birthday. And went to Atlantis after that. I won't say I really like the place a lot, but I think it'll be a damn cool place once I get over the boob/butt in your face thing. I can't believe how money is so easily earned for the performers. Seriously, some thai girl earned around 500 for the 3 hours I was there okay.
Sigh, being pretty and having a good figure is everything? LOL of 'cos I don't think so. But it's still damn siannnnnnnnnnn.
And I really really really hate beer. Makes me feel so fat! Argh.
I hope he enjoyed the boobs and butts and shaking and bouncing 'cos I'M BEING NICE! :< it's super sian when there are pretty girls but no handsome guys. Zzz

Anyway, I trying very hard to catch up with my schoolwork. And training for the upcoming compies. I really hope Asterisk* will be able to achieve something, like not first round out LOL I just need to become the kind of player who can bring a team to victory. Yaya easy to say. Haha.

Celebrations

2010-05-04T13:01:00.000+08:00

So..... it was... our 3rd year anniversay last Tuesday. I'm actually not very sure if we should even be celebrating it in the first place, considering the state we are in now. But whatever, an attempt to improve the situation = this. Happy, yes. Hope it'd last more than a month.

After much hinting... he finally got it that I wanted a new wallet. Thanks baby you're so smart. -_- So I chose 1 and he got it for me. ; ;
Went home to cook curry for dinner. Lol it was quite fun.

LOL he looks damn dangerous here, with the huge knife in his hands.

+++++ Esther and WeiLiang finally got married~~~ I should probably caps the finally -_-
I'm really really happy for them. Knowing some details of what they went through, being there last Sunday and watching Esther freak out about the wedding.. :D Hope they will be happy together till they're old and ugly LOL
And I got to be a pretty girl for 4hours 'cos of the wedding! (and 60bucks) I felt reallllly realllly pretty for the first ever time in my life -_-

I loveeeeeeeeeee her hair! So damn nice. Lol Esther always had a way of being different from others with her sense of style and she always end up looking great :/ I still remember she would bring me down to the playground when I was young 'cos she wanted to meet her boyfriends LOL Bloody hell, I was just a cover-up, and I didn't know till I grew up.

My beautiful mummy and slowly-becoming-a-fatso sister. LOL + weiwei. Greg and me are so freaking tall lah LOL songbo.

+ Gina! I really love them all a lot, even though I don't show it and act like an ass at home.

(laughs wickedly)

I'm falling in love with myself~ LOL
But I went back to being a slump and fermented veggie after I removed everything ): and got disappointed by Iron Man 2. IT SUCKS!
Oh and the wedding menu was damnnnnnnnnnnnnn good.No pictures though, I was too obsessed with myself. LOL they had imba fried udon, tender chicken, and the best best best best best mango sago pomelo I've ever tasted.

Plus the reason I'm blogging now is 'cos I wanna show off my pretty pictures LOL of course lah, once in a blue moon I morph into something worth looking at okay. (laughs crazily)

of regrets, apologies, forgiveness and chances

2010-04-22T04:06:00.005+08:00

Dear groupmates,

I've been irresponsible, and a pain in the ass.
Sorry and I'll try to enjoy school and company more.

Amanda, Jerry and Joel have probably heard this countless of times already cos I'm a stubborn childish lazy pig living in an anus. I'd probably be chanting a stream of vulgarities at myself daily if I were them. But thanks guys...

Just need some time.. A little more.

KIMBANANA?!

2010-04-04T02:08:00.000+08:00

NICE JUST WENT TO SEE MY NUFFNANG AND I SOMEONE WAS SEARCHING KIMBANANA TO FIND MY BLOG W-T-F.

Cb... who the hell is it. IS IT YOU MARC. OR POO OR WHICHEVER IDIOT!
THERE'S NO LINK BETWEEN ME AND BANANAS.. okay except for that huge banana bolster they got me for my birthday LOL. :D

Kns. My name is KIMBERLYN man. With an "N". People need to start getting my crazily nice name right.

tsk

2010-03-31T15:47:00.001+08:00

I think she seriously needs to stop reading my blog every single time she breaks up with someone. I don't know what she wants man, trying to check if I'm done being with him? Seriously... Zz..

Anyway, I'm very motivated to train up in Dota. But I doubt it's a good time, with my fyp and school bullshit starting soon. Sigh. I think I have been stagnant in Dota for quite some time.. Not a good thing... Yesterday was a good Dota day. And that means that I didn't feed LOL. Simple. Very very happy with my medusa's gaze but as usual, I don't think it's me that's good. Lol.
And somehow, I suddenly feel like I have the responsibility to command the team and cheer feeding people up. Lol. :D I hope they don't find me irritating. I won't deny that we're not one of the best teams out there, but well, I'm happy being in this team. Happier. Not that I wasn't in the other, -_- I realise some people like to misunderstand words and twist them lol.

Run devil, devil run, run!

2010-03-22T02:53:00.000+08:00

Saw this 2 idiotic people wearing costumes identical to the music video for the DDR song dancing to the song -_- Lol damn funny. Didn't expect Singaporeans to do such fun and outrageous stuff. And I can't figure out wtf the girl is supposed to be. Is that a biscuit? A bread? -_-

Well anyway, Jubeat compy finally ended today and I played like some dabian. At least I'm not last >< that was my aim - not to be last LOL. Hated the song picks as well zzzzzz i rather play the songs in the extreme category, at least I'd have more fun losing.
But the whole event was fun :D
Got to know people I didn't know, and socialise FOR ONCE.

I think I'm really beginning to slowly be accustomed to life without him. I don't think I should really be so dependent on him anymore. It's not easy pretending that I don't care though. Somehow I'm hoping that as long as I keep on pretending I don't care, it'll soon become a fact. Haha.
It feeeeeeeeeels fucking great being out with friends, away from him for a change. I guess he'll probably be happier too.

Went to watch Nodame Cantabile, the movie with Mada and Jerry on Thursday. :D
I'm really glad they are still friends with me, or rather treat me as friends. With all the nonsense I'm giving them in school and all...
The movie was a huge disappointment ): but I kinda expected it though..
Professor Layton is next!

I was SUPPOSED to go Kbox with Qingy on Friday but she cancelled last minute ; ; she's lucky I was still sleeping when she cancelled lol. I'll freaking chop her if I bathed and started preparing to leave house already. Saturday was training day though I did very badly as usual. And finally met up with Marc and Yongsheng. I seriously don't know if they are happy to see me lol especially Marc. On the other hand, it might be just me thinking too much again. I'm really happy they are still treating me as friends too.. or might I say good friends haha. I really really isolated myself and kinda abandoned them after secondary school. Sigh.
That's why I'm forgiving Poo for pangseh-ing me cbbbbbb.

I wanna thank the others at the pub for welcoming me so graciously too. :D

Out out out out out, I've been out everyday and it feels great. But every night it's so hard to fall asleep.
Every night when it's dark and quiet.. my thoughts seem to be as loud as the Beatmania machine at Bugis TKA LOL. Sigh. And the endless nightmares, bad dreams.
I hope they will all go away soon.. as long as I continue not to care.
I'm running, running away from the devil.
HAHAHA ok that's a pun on SNSD's new song.

I'll run away alone if that's how it's gonna be.

2010-03-08T17:15:00.000+08:00

So now I'm kinda stuck between hell and.. the living world. But actually on second thought, it's hell in the living world already. LOL.
Fucked.
In this 1 month, I found out things I wished didn't happened. No, I want to find out, I want to know. I hate being in the dark and not knowing anything. I really hate it. No I'm not gonna bloody tell anyone what happened 'cos I still insist on being a good person. And I don't wanna hear about how I'm making stupid choices in my life.
In this 1 month, I totally lost energy and strength to do anything passionately at all. No I don't wanna work I don't wanna study. I think I'm even losing interest in playing DotA competitively. And now I just got so sick of Jubeat that I'm gonna avoid it for the next 1 week or so. I'm going to go crazy one more time I hear clover and sonar pocket. Sigh. And I wasted money yesterday trying to improve my scores when I know I can't 'cos I only had 2 hours of sleep zzz. Everything is beginning to be a pain in the ass for me.

The thing is even retail therapy doesn't work for me COS I HAVE NO EFFING MONEY AT ALL. The plan for this whole week shall be to rot at home. Or I should probably go learn beatmania or something. Or try to boost my self confidence.. Nope, impossible.

I hate this. I wonder how long this can last, what can be proved to me. Maybe until the next "oops I did it again".. Lol. But then again, a part of me really hopes that this is the last time I'm gonna get hurt like this.

2010-02-12T12:41:00.000+08:00

It's so screwed when exams are straight after cny. -_- well I don't know how I'm gonna study for finance and I'm super scared I'll fail it. Argh.
LOL argh reminds me of argh gong xi fa cai. Some bossini tagline in china, so no link.
Anyway, it's my week to blog at Asterisk's blog and damn it's hard. It so tough to blog everyday about something that MIGHT be interesting to whoever is reading our blog out there. It's super hard 'cos I have an extremely boring life k? I admit LOL.

And the other day I was laughing a lot about her. She came to read my blog AGAIN so I went to check hers out. Ohoho seems her hubby has cheated on her or some sort. First thing that came to my mind = HAHA BAO YING.
Then I felt mean for laughing at her lol. Hey I can't help it man. Does she really think she can find someone who is loyal to her when she is such a person?! LOL. According to her blog she now has this special guy she refers to as dalang, hilarious. But I don't think I shall laugh at her anymore 'cos I believe in retribution Lol.

2010-02-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

Songbo! Lol I finally won something in DotA, thank god. ><
Really really happy we won Iron Lady III despite the disappointing Day 1. :/ Better not mention 1v1 in case some people starts "scolding" me again.
Weeeeeeeeeee! China was superrrrrrrrrr cold and the food there were all so salty
; ; but they had my favourite jap milk tea! And it's freaking cheap. Only 11rmb for 1.5l. WTF so damn cheap. Why is the milk tea here so expensive?!

Wooot it was a great experience, being in a studio and able to see the backstage works and all. It was like being an intern in advance! LOL!
Getting to know the girls more, having even more fun playing with them and finally getting to play with Shizuma in the same team :D So happppppy.

I'm so glad I look decent! HAHA thanks to Eliza and Dawn for helping me with the makeup everyday. >< I think I must have been an irritating and troublesome blurqueen to them.

And this blooooody picture, it might not look like it BUT WE'RE ALL STANDING IN THE FREEZING COLD WEATHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. -_- So damn cold..........

Think I'll go back to watching the replays from the event! :D But tudou is loading at snail pace zzz.
And no I'm not gonna give you the link of me losing my 1v1 LOL damn xiasuay.

Naonao & Ruru vs Shizuma & Kimchi
XiaoM & Sara vs Shizuma & Kimchi
SSKK vs PMS|Asterisk* game1
SSKK vs PMS|Asterisk* game2

Hehe and you might wanna check out Shizuma's exciting to watch performance in her 1v1 against Sara! And of 'cos Eliza's great game against XiaoM 1v1! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee.

2010-01-25T09:20:00.003+08:00

And there it is again, the feeling that I'm not welcomed and not wanted here.

Feel so alone..

2010-01-25T01:36:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking a lot these days. About me and him. Sometimes I doubt our relationship, sometimes I blame myself. I try to find reasons to explain why we are together. Suddenly, "I love you" just doesn't seem to suffice. What do we have in common except for gaming? Even so, gaming has always led us to quarrels. Even if we both love each other, how long can we last if both of us are always so easily irritated at each other?

Or maybe to him I'm emotional, unreasonable, tempremental, irritating.. I don't know. Maybe a burden, a liability to him already..
Sometimes I feel it's just wrong of me to try and keep him by my side and me mine only, when he's meant to be free and... Out there without the chains from a relationship. But I'm too selfish, and dependent.. And too scared..

Whining like this obviously doesn't solve anything.. I just feel so lost.. I just need to get through this period of hell.. Help me, please.. You.

2010-01-20T19:03:00.000+08:00

I think I really have low self esteem, no confidence in myself.

But sometimes I'm so sure of myself.

Bipolar disorder?!?!? I think I need to go for some boost your confidence course or something.
Maybe I'm just unwilling to accept that I'm just a normal, boring, singaporean girl. Lol.

Blah.

2010-01-18T11:29:00.000+08:00

It's terribly troublesome to blog using my laptop 'cos my laptop is currently leaking electricity. Shitty shit. So my laptop is officially screwed but I don't have the money to get a new one -_-

Anyway, many things happened like Gregory Tan passing his driving test. Which led to many late night supper.... which led to me gaining 3kg..... Sigh.

And Qi scoring better than me in her O's just like I expected. Lol. Happy for her weeheeee and she treated the family to crabbbbbbs <3 which contributed to the 3kg I gained. Zzzzzz!
But it was a gooooood dinner, with mummy and daddy at the same table without them wanted to stab each other or something. -_- Feels like the kind of family I used to have, I want and miss. Ah......
Bababababababa~ Anyhow, I think my fav crab from now on will be salted egg crab :D It's surprisingly delicious woot.

And time passes so quickly that I'm heading to Shanghai next Wednesday for Iron Lady 3.
+++ got the equipments last week and I'm loving the keyboard! Hehe it has this nice feeling and sound when you use it. Tap tap tap tap tap.. Very dull and low tapping sound. Nice..
Haven't tried the headset though, but well, I'm shock I'm able to play with the super bulky mouse. Only complain is the mousepad ; ;
But they are free! Shan't complain and whine!

Went out with the girls the other day to shop for clothes and I really spent a lot -_-
But I don't wanna freeze there either. Sigh. I'm super super broke right now... And mummy is whining about it too. -_- ARGHAGRHAGRHAGR.

Bakagri has started school over at SIM too. And he has been whining about it everyday -_-
I think we're kinda immune to each others' whines. When he was in NS he whines about NS, when he ORDs and gets his driving license he whines about stupid drivers on the road. -_- And now he whines about school eeeek.
And I whine to him about him everyday. LOL. Poor thing actually. But too bad for him.
+ I do not think I'm possessive. Well, for those who think I am should try going through what I went through.

:D HEHEHEHEH C.N.Blue <3 Jung Yong Hwaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~

shamlessssssssssssss

2009-12-27T05:17:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so irritated.
Bloody hell, how can she scold another person like she hasn't done any shitty and shameless things before. Yea, as if her conscience is clear. I wonder how many couples she has come in between, not that I think I was the first anyway.
AHRGHARGHAG really not worth it getting pissed 'cos of her but can't help it. Freaking screwed up my lifeeeeeee.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

2009-12-14T20:09:00.000+08:00

I will promise you to live with only you in my two eyes
I will promise you to live with only you in my two arms
From the time I open my eyes and till I sleep I will only yearn for you
I love you don't forget these words I love you forever

I will become the shade in the hot summer
I will become your umbrella when it rains
I will become the small chair when you become tired from walking
So that your happiness will be doubled, I wll laugh with you
I will become the towel when you cry to wipe you tears

I will promise you to live with only you in my two eyes
I will promise you to live with only you in my two arms
From the time I open my eyes and till I sleep I will only yearn for you
I love you don't forget these words I love you forever

Rap:
We are like coffee and doughnut
Giving me happiness you are my special
Day by day you are running low on energy Emergency
Breathing life into you, your sweet scent

The love I hid every single day
On the day we are together I will show you all

I will promise you that wherever I am I will only remember you
I will promise you that whatever I am doing I will remember you
Forever I will live with this new path in my life
I love you don't forget there words I love you forever

Rap:
Yes A.N.JELL here! I will promise just do it Girl
I love you, what more do I need?
My thumping left heart will answer you
One step two step three and four
I will slowly move closer to you
I can't tell you to wait for me because I will take you

I will promise you to live with only you in my two eyes
I will promise you to live with only you in my two arms
From the time I open my eyes and till I sleep I will only yearn for you
I love you don't forget these words I love you forever

KITTTTTTTTY LABBBBBBB!

2009-11-25T23:45:00.004+08:00

KITTTTTTTY LABBBBBBB AHAHAHAHA OMG EVERYTHING IS SUPER CUTE THEREEEEE..
But the ticket is *&@!^#!@&* expensive ; ;

Lol grigri and his weird antics -_-
Gina's the ranger kitty, I'm the hot-tempered kitty (-____-), grigri's the DREAMY kitty and qi's the girly kitty. Wah qi's kitty is so damn cute ): jealous. She won all the mini games so she gets to choose EVERYTHING. Argh, I lose 1 that's why I have stupid shoes. And the stupid hat is there 'cos I ran out of time to choose. Gri's one just looks like a tranny. -_-

And he bought me the Dr. Kitty plushie! HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE so niceeeeeeee.
Wanted to buy it with my own money but he went off to buy it sneakily. Hehehe.
SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Hiak, SMM tomorrow! Am in super good mood to go now thanks to Kittylab! :D

Happy Birthday to Jerrrrrrrry!

2009-11-23T01:11:00.000+08:00

Escapade. Was super super super super super tired after that and fell sick the day after -_-
Dammnn but the event was quite fun and interesting. Why didn't I have such events when I was an O'level candidate, damn kids these days are lucky.

Then there was Sam's 21st birthday. Nice cake :/
There wasn't really anything to do but chatting is always a good way to pass time. But I was quite happy that day, bought 4bras for 34bucks at White Sands LOL weeeeheeeeee good deal and I got to try the make you own yogurt thing from Yogen Fruz.

Did a photoshoot with Asterisk yesterday. I-hate-makeup. Zzzzzz my face was so white and grigri said I look like ghost. AND I think so too. Too much make up for me to take it argh. So glad Dawn didn't manage to buy any fake eyelashes for me hehehehe. But the shoot was fun, fooling around with the girls and all. I realised how much I hate my hair too. Zzzzzz stupid high forehead. Not gonna post any "preview" pictures here 'cos I look like a tranny in my opinion and it'll scare people away.

Okay anyway, went to Anime Festival Asia today. It was okayyyyyyy~~~ only though. ): I think Kitty Lab will pwn AFA. I think partly 'cos the seiyuu for Mio didn't come to SG -_- CHEAT MY FEELINGS. Zzzzzz but K-On rocks :D But no songs no Mio...... sigh. And I didn't even get to buy the pins. Zzz AND I didn't get to buy the solid perfume by the Harajuku Girls brand, not sure if that's the brand name lol. Arghhhh was super tired and whining to go home but grigri wanted to stay for the I <3 Anisong concert so well, I did.
Wellllllllllllllllllllllllll, it's not worth buying the concert pass. But maybe 'cos I have no idea what anime songs they sung. >< No impact on me. Didn't really feel the goodness of May'N too lol with all the hype with her. But after hearing her sing and seeing everyone go crazy, I'm wanting to watch Macross Frontier even more now. Heh.

And Gokusen Movie is out. Need to watch it! And there's gonna be a freaking Professor Layton movie next year -__________- wow a movie from a NDS game. Imba.
And Nodame Cantabile movie next year too. Can't wait.

Okay, the main point of blogging is here.
I HAVE FINALLY EFFING B-ED EVANS HUAEHUAHEUAHUEAHUEHAUEHUAHEUAHEUAHEUAHEUAHUEAHUEHAUHEUAH
-SMUG-
Okay actually, nothing to be smug about. Doubt I can maintain that score anyway ><
AND I SS-ED COMING TRUE HAHAHAHA. Did I mention that in my previous post?! Dunno DON'T CARE. Too happy. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Evans evans evans evans evans evans!!!
Heheheheeheehehheehehehehehehhehehehehehehe I loveeeeeeee Jubeat! Can't wait for compy!

And I am 3 levels away from Betoni's Warhammer in Aion. Zzzzz so harddddddd to level... Clerics suck at grinding bahhhh 1 hour 1 bar.. and that's with my rested status. -_- Zzzzz can't wait to be max level, but I got a feeling the max level is gonna be upped to 55 soon, probably the next patch. Lol. I'll never get to max level like this.
And with SMM coming in 3 days, I should probably be training DotA instead of playing Aion. Lol. At least Mr. Gri is going with me after all. :D He's really super blur and I feel like knocking his head. -_- He mixed up the receipt for his TP for LAST YEAR with THIS YEAR'S receipt. Zzzzzzzz
Nevermind, at least he's going and we got a room! Just gotta wait for Cyn to confirm with me the bus tickets ><

And a very happy birthday to Jerry and Cavan!
No presents for you two booohoohoo.
Maybe.

2009-11-10T02:35:00.000+08:00

So we went out the other day, for our "first date". Hah. A 1 week late date. And I got it only after pestering and irritating him a lot. Lol..
Well, at least I was happy that day. Probably 'cos of the gosu milk tea ice cream I had at Shokudo. I'm addicted to it now. I wanna eat the milk tea ice cream every single day, omg that would make me so happy. ): And My Girlfriend Is An Agent made me laugh too.

He went crazy while we were waiting for our ice cream. Hideous, but that made me laughed too. Ah, lol.. he looks like a ninja in the 3rd one. Hah..

Woot and a picture of me. Cool. This is for Dawn/Tammy whoever complained that they have problems finding a decent picture of me. There, here. -points up-

Anyway, had training the next day and it was crap. Okay no, I should correct that. I was crap. ME was crap. Lol. I seriously feel that they should sub me out. I don't know what's wrong with me. Failing at Jubeat AND DotA. Lol.. and school. And relationship. Lol.. I just wanna rot and have fun. Ahhhh nevermind.
Find it so hard to call him baby here now, okay.

Met him and Jiaboba (don't ask me why but I just felt like it's a nice nick for him HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA) for Paranormal Activity. It's a freaking nice movie imo. But no one believes me. Doubt I have any cred left anyway. I don't go to school = I should shut up. But I can't shut up, so yeah trying to go to school.
We got pangseh-ed so jb had a fun time being a lightbulb. Hiak.

And I'm having a headache right now from drinking at work's function just now. And 'cos I was utterly useless at DotA just now, using potm at that. LOL gg?
Sigh, I really fucking hate school. I can't wait for Friday to come. Then gri will be back, shit test and presentation will be gone. But there's a fucking test on Monday again. I finally understand why some people quit school. I am super tempted to do that right now straight away and say "sorry I need a break I wanna rot for a year" but no I can't do that.
Okay I'm gonna sleep before my headache kills me and I oversleep tomorrow and people in school pban me. Kbailifesucks.

Support-a-w4ndeRz

2009-11-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

PMS|Asterisk* is trying to raise money to send Cynthia a.k.a w4andeRz to SMM 2009 @ Malacca!
As you can see, I've added a widget at the side bar. Please help us~~ Woooohooooo!
I think Cyn with give everyone who helped a kiss :D No la just joking. Alan will kill me.
Thank you very very very much if you have help us or if you are planning to!
You can also choose to hand us the money personally if you want to, all you have to do is contact either me or any of the other PMS|Asterisk* members.
Once again, thanks!

And since I'm on the topic on SMM, Gregory Tan is not going with me. Woohoo? Lol.

Woohoo man. 'Cos he has his driving test on 28th. And I'm leaving on the 27th. Wooooohooo. I hate my life.
Bai.

Lol?

2009-10-28T07:57:00.001+08:00

Okay I just wanna say my life has been fucked up by Gregory Tan and a bitch ever since I came back to Singapore. And for some reason I still decided to stay with him. Not that he begged me to anyway. It's all my own choice. Wow lucky guy?
Cos no I don't wanna go through learning to be single and living without him. No I don't wanna be sad for god knows how long with no one to make me happy. No I don't want to.

So now I'm thinking if only I didn't go to Thailand. WOW nice. I bet my life would still be great now. But still, even if I did not go, he lied to me already. No I don't really care if he lied, as long as he didn't really DO SOMETHING. Too bad, I went to Thailand AND was determined to be a good girlfriend and not drink a lot/flirt etc unlike him. So am I not supposed to let him get out of my sight now?

How I wished I could be like him. Being able to do such bullshit. I can't even fucking do it man. Wow I'm actually quite disgusted. It's so unfair. He knows it but he doesn't care. LOL unfair so? Ahahahahhaaha. Kns. I'm so useless man.

So now what.
I don't know. I can't really do anything to that bitch anyway. Since she'll probably say I can't even "keep" my own boyfriend ya da ya da ya da. And yeah my head is so filled with images ideas thoughts images images images. Imagining her leaning on him, hugging, kissing ew. Seriously, AM I A SAINT OR WHAT?!
Fuck.

But if I can't let him go, I just gotta blame myself in the future if I get hurt like this again.
It'll probably be byebye fuck off then. No it won't happen again, he says.
And for some reason I am believing it. Not totally, but still. Even now I'm still not sure if I know all the truth. Am I still being lied to? Is he still hiding things from me? As long as he denies, I doubt even if there is, there's no chance of me to find out.

Tired. Fuck bitch. Angry.
I seriously don't know if I should be angry at him, the bitch or myself.
Why do I have to go through all these shit when I'm only 18years old.
Zzzzzzz am I gonna have the same fate as my mum or what?! Walao.

I'm glad there's at least someone to talk to, play dota with during this period of time. I'm glad that at least I truly laughed and smiled even though I was breaking apart during this bullshit. Or am I just unbreakable? LOL.

Okay I don't know what I'm saying already. Fuck you bitch. Okay I wanted to curse her to get drunk and raped but nevermind. I think I'm nice and I shall be nice even to her. So all I'm gonna say is fuck you bitch. Bye.

Yet again

2009-10-22T01:31:00.000+08:00

And yet again I'm hurt.
The same things I've heard so many many many times, I heard them again. Yesterday, and today. Again and again and again.
Always the same, just that the female lead changes. This time it was unfortunate that mada shared the same name as her.

I don't know how the hell I can withstand all these bullshit nonsense about not doing anything to betray me and the crap tone I was being talked to. I might most probably be the winner for best tolerating and forgiving girlfriend. Makes me feel like flirting with some guys and going out with them alone. Drinking some alcohol with them and getting wasted with them. Lying and keep me in the dark seems such an easy task, even after being caught red handed.

L-O-L

ESTC

2009-10-20T00:55:00.000+08:00

I don't know if Thailand was good or bad.
I think it's just normal. The game against that all girls dota team kinda ruined everything. Lol.. not that I wasn't emo enough about my ES during the stage match.
I don't really feel like blogging now. Lack of pictures and enthusiasm. Probably tomorrow.
And especially not when something stupid happened in school today when I was not there AGAIN. Wow how I wish I was there to own some people.

2009-10-14T05:07:00.000+08:00

Work today was horrible. So busy and only Richmond and me was there.
So tired that I had a headache and felt like vomitting -_- Wtf so glad that I'm going to Thailand tomorrow. I can't imagine having to work for the next few days after this. Zzzzzz.

I've been quite happy recently.
Went to play $1.50 for 4 songs Jubeat at Iluma and it felt super great! Lol plus I unexpectedly SS-ed Area51 and almost B Evans! Omg I feel so happy just thinking about it. :D My Area51 SS is not a one time thing okay! LOL for some reason I can suddenly SS and be able to maintain that score! And I finally SSS-ed and full combo-ed Free. I am in love with that song at the moment. <3 I'm gonnnnna B Evans soooooon! AHAHAHH song bo.

+++ I'm now level 35 in Aion! AHAHAH just ding-ed a few minutes ago. I can finally use my Flame Mail and Death Staff ahhhhhhhhahahahaahahah. Life is great. Aion is quite fun, somehow.. despite the insane amount of time needed to grind to level -_-

Furthermore, I am so glad that training has been mostly fun. I'm actually kinda shock that I can have this much fun when playing with them. Lol it's like the total opposite from the past when trainings meant waiting for late comers for an hour and losing games without having fun/learning anything. Not that trainings don't start later than planned now but hmmm, it's just different.
Thailand tomorrow and I still have not packed my bag. Lol damn shit. I hope I don't forget to bring my toothbrush or something else. I still remember that when I was young, I forgot to bring my underwear overseas. -_- like how fun right LOL.

Oh well, I hope I don't miss grigri tan too much.. It's weird. Feel weird without him by my side now. ><
Bah bye hope I have fun in Thailand.

Food.

2009-10-07T11:57:00.000+08:00

I wanna stuff myself with Beardpapa cream puffs and shiratama zenzai.
Work will be bearable if I eat non-stop.
I really need my cream puffs. Grigri ate my cream puffs. I want my red beans. Red red red bean paste.........

Of frustrations and happiness

2009-10-01T03:31:00.002+08:00

Basically, I think I'm just buying things for the joy I get from buying them.
Spending money feels so great. Spending unnecessary money is not so great.
Lol. I gotta stop.

Life feels so monotonous nowadays.
Aion, DotA, work, sleep. There's no grigri in there at all. He's too busy caring about lagging behind in levels in Aion to be bothered anyway. Not that I didn't expect this. And I think as time goes by I gradually begin to just let things go. Nothing I can do even if I get angry or sad. I'd only waste my own energy and brain cells.
Lol but I really hate it when he gives me pressure to play. Always makes me feel like I'm his burden or something. Like he'd be ashamed if people see his girlfriend being a low level. And as always, I'm probably thinking too much, or at least that's what he would say.
And when I do play, he makes me feel like a total loser/noob/idiot/stupid etc. Like I shouldn't even be playing at all. Lol I used to go crazy and make a big fuss out of it. Now I just ignore and shut up. And I realised it helps a great deal to just shut up and let him be. I can't ever win him in a quarrel anyway, neither do I want us having to go through another senseless quarrel.

And I really get quite pissed off when he gives excuses to not send me home when my place is just 10mins walk away. It's totally okay if he says no, but it's not when he gives excuses. Not when he says he's tired and he's gonna sleep soon but when I am home he plays Aion with me for another 3 hours before he sleeps. I don't get it at all. Is he just plain lazy or is he really tired? Not that I didn't talk to him about this before, I'm so sick of caring and hoping for something out of him. I'd only feel like shit after disappointment. But still, as much as I whine about him, he's still the best... lol.

A silly thought just came to my mind.
If I was super angry at him and said that I'd only forgive him if he shave all his leg hairs, would he do it? LOL. Funny thought. Don't think he will. Lol..

Enough of the shit talk I guess. Just venting my frustration for the past week here. Lol.

Exciting things coming up include ESTC and school starting. This is the first ever time in my whole life I'm looking forward to the start of school. Not that I wanna go to school at 8am, I just feel glad that I am not working full time lol. Working really sucks.
ESTC is gonna be great I can feeeeeel it. I am of course excluding the fact that we would probably lose a lot of games. My only hope is that I don't feed. I haven alwayssssss wanted to go to Thailand~~ And I've been even more excited after knowing that Cyn would be coming with us. Cheap food, shopping weeeeeeee. Food food food.
I even get to skip the first day of school 'cos of ESTC! Lol.

Okay I am positive there's something growing in my left eye. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz damn shit.
Whatever it is I hope it'd go away tomorrow -_- My eye has been hurting for like 3 days already.

Haven't been watching much of my Jap dramas lately. I think it's time to mass watch. Shall go to work earlier and order a sundae while watching Bloody Monday.
Oh I just remembered, I can't do that 'cos he's gonna bring my laptop to work to play Aion LOLOLOL
I'm getting owned by Aion.

2009-09-24T05:12:00.000+08:00

Ahahahah this was what they did for Russel LOL so funny. Looks like the real thing too. AHAHHA.
Work is boring but easy nowadays. Pewwww and end of work.

I collected a lot of money from my birthday ang paos HEHEHEHE super happy, now I can't wait for my pay. Then I would be super-ly rich and I can go on my shopping spree in Thailand. -_- That's if mummy stops emoing me and lets me go. .>< Should have just asked her if I can go instead of saying I'm going. Now she's emoing me 'cos I didn't even bother to ask her. Zzzzzz but she'll let me go de lahhhhhhhhhhhhhh arghagrhargh pekcek. Gotta scan my passport and send it to Tammy later on too. >< What if I can't find my passport! What if mummy doesn't take it out for me! HOWWWWWWWW?! Dead.
Sian...........

And birthday this year was like... -_- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh never mind ba. Aion lorrrrrr... Arghhh so hard to level in Aion. And I hate it when you need an insane amount of exp to level up in games. What's wrong with a good old 50k. Why must it be like 5 million. -_- That's why I love FFXI. AGRHAGRHARGHAGRHA.
Sian...

Haven't been playing Jubeat for a long time LOL. Sian I wanna play but lazy to go. Plus need to level up in Aion -_- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and the feeling of getting blamed and scolded isn't good. ARghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Can't sleep till 6am! Till I message mummy! But I got to wake up early later and go home to scan the effing passport and go work. AGHEGRHGARHAGRH.
Please please please let me find my passport. ):

money money money, be my honey

2009-09-17T01:23:00.000+08:00

First time playing Area51 after unlocking it and baby meets Y.S-Y.
Lol suay or? Super gross bugggggger. And 2 days after unlocking the song we have 60 play counts of Area51 and baby is about 14k away from SSS-ing it. I'm still... trying very hard to SS the effing song. Arhhhhh. I really really love Jubeat Ripples. :D Lucky I signed up for nebo and got the coupons, if not god knows how much we have to spend. x2 of what we've spent. LOL scary.

Been working and working and trying to earn money to cover up the amount I spent ><
Argh. Birthday is coming and so is Aion.
Aion is more important to grigri 'cos he "forgot" my birthday. He was tooooo excited about Aion. And not about my birthday. Sigh wo de ming hao ku.
He doesn't plan anything.... sigh... emo shit. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

That's all. Training for ESTC. Dunno if I'm confirm going though... money matters + the danger there... I don't wanna die so early. Siannnn... Been noobing and doing good, noobing and doing good. So now I don't even know if I'm a noob or I'm good.
Aion, DotA, Ripples. Ripples seem the best.
But... money........

Argh. Off to watch Project Runway, Vampire Diaries and GOSSIP GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

2009-09-08T15:17:00.000+08:00

I SPENT MORE MONEY BUYING 2 PAIRS OF SHOES AND WATCHING I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER. NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
But I didn't play Jubeat yesterday. Good job.

): Baaaaaa and the movie sucked. WASTE MY MONEYYYYYY I hate Hayden Patt----- whatever her surname is. ARGHHHHHHH.
And I got work later! And I think to think of someway to change my work schedule on Friday! HOW??
I need to go to Joyce-lyn's birthday party AND Sheriel's birthday party. -_- Arghhhhh I hope someone working full shift on Sunday but not working on Friday can change with me. I hope I'll get lucky!
K bye game.

help....

2009-09-05T03:43:00.003+08:00

This is bad.
I can't sleep and I'm super hungry, my stomach is growling. And grigri is so soundly asleep he's snoring.
I need food I need to sleep I have work tomorrow!

Zzz walao I want baby to wake up........... But he'll be super pissed if I wake him up. I think I'm gonna be like a zombie tomorrow at work. So dead..

Grigriwakeupgrigriwakeupgrigriwakeupgrigriwakeup......

... I probably should find something to eat first..... This sucks. Grigri is a pangseh kia.

2009-09-04T03:41:00.000+08:00

Okay. I am working full shift on Saturday.
I am seriously regretting trying to be a nice person and help Terri work night... Why oh whyyyy do I have to shoot my mouth. I hope I'll survive.
I can't work full shifts! I really can't. My tolerance level for work is really just that little.
Oh god...

Mada psycho-ed me to go Cine to watch The Time Traveler's Wife... which led to me spending money... I am so dead. Argh... But the movie was good. Subtle, but good. Don't think people who didn't read the book will like it though. Rachel McAdams is really the best.

And I played a lot of Ripples today. I'm guilty. But at least I broke a some records and made myself happy.
+ Baby is coming home tomorrow, but I'm working at night. Oh well. And I really wanna try the new Gundam machine thingy at ZoneX. But it's freaking 5bucks/game and I still have to get a IC card before I can play. Zzzzz damn. I shall just stick to Ripples then.
I shall rip non-stop. Lol. Grigri joke.

So bored. I hope Friday and Saturday will pass fast. And I got a feeling I got a ton of work schedule next week. Many full shifts incoming. Argh.
But I need the money and I can't complain! Sucks.
Kinda tired... shall finish my game and go sleep. And wake up - faster head out - faster play Jubeat - faster work finish - faster see baby. But when Friday fast forwards, hell Saturday would only be nearer. Argh.
Whatever.

Qingy owes me crab. Me want my crabbie.

Ripples > Dota

2009-09-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

Dota is like ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ now to me again. Lol.
'Cos Jubeat Ripples is <3 HEHEHE.

I thought Ripples was gonna be shit 'cos the songs are like #@%&# but it turned out to be so fun! HAHA the notes are super duper nice. And the songs too! :D Weeeeeeeeeee I'm so addicted to it right now.
Bahhh even if I play DotA now I'd be playing half-heartedly. ):
Not improving too, I don't think I have the motivation to improve as well. Lol. Aiya, but after about a month I'll go crazy over DotA again. Lol. Always like that. But Aion is coming out too! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

But other than DotA, there's nothing else to do at home ): Other than watching my Jap shows.
Speaking about Jap shows, BOSS isn't as nice as I thought it would be ): Mr. Brain is sooooooooo much better!

Holiday has started... and I'm feeling super super super moodless everyday. There is just simply nothing to do. >< I wanna go out and shop and eat and have fun, BUT I HAVE NO MONEY. Argh................... Life sucks.

2009-08-27T23:41:00.001+08:00

Ripples coming out tomorrow! I'm quiteeeeee excited! :D But the queue will be super duper long lah so I guess I wouldn't get the chance to play at all. Working on Friday, Saturday and Sunday too. -______-
Sian... I wanna stay at arcade whole day and mass play Jubeat Ripples. ):
SO MANY SONGS I WANNA PLAY. At least it'll take my mind of Evans for a while lol.

Sian. Kinda reluctant to go back to work after not workin for 2weeks. ; ;