(: just realised how vvvvvvv long my post was. BUSYBUSYDAY!

went to veron's house EARLY IN THE MORNING. yawn.
slept so late ytd, woke up at like.. 10am. had to meet rc at 10.30am. so i practically flew to meet her. lol. bathed in like 5 mins.

anw, veron's house is in a mess. and it was in a bigger mess when we left. HAH. (: we wasted like.. 3 or 4 hrs doing the bridge.
ANDANDAND, it was a complete failure. so we redid the whole thingy, in 1 or 2 hrs.

ANDANDANDAND!!! (: hah. success. at least can support 15kg ba. we didn't dare put more weight onto the bridge. haha. veron mummy treated us to pizze and kfc chicken. yummmm~ ate until i was bloated.
found out veron and rc have the great potential to be glue sniffers. they loooove UHU glue so much. UHU glue drip here, they chiong to go scoop it up. drip there, they fight to see who can clean it up first.
-.- they were like so excited! lol. huilin and me couldn't do anything but sit there and watch both of them go crazy. imagine that! (:


left at abt 6, borrowed 3 archie comics from veron, waited for dear at void deck. RAH. (: went to central zou zou. ok, actually, went to tenchi. hey, at least i went to buy sundae from mac first. yummmmy. played with lim and dear and some bloody noooooobs. waste time.
met my mummy and sisters on the bus and i seriously think that she saw dear. haha. at least dear was wearing his green billabong shirt that looks quite nice on him. (:

have to chiong hw le. i'm supposed to be doing maths hw with dear nw BUTBUTBUT, well, he's addicted to watching da zhi lao. can't help it, andy lau's charm is so great, it affects males too. so i guess i just have to wait in line. (:

FUNDAY. (:

lots of happy things happened today:
1. casan bdae party! charades and pooh bear parade. (: and yummmmmy curry. (:
2. dear opened up to me about ytd. (i forced him.) so i found out what was bothering him. (:
3. (: (: (: he bought chocolate ice cream for me too!! (: first time he buy something for me without me asking. GRRRRRINNNNNNN.
4. got to play a little dota today. (: wahahaha.
5. saw how ys see to every of casan's needs and laughed at him. LOUDLY. (: (: (:
6. played water with dear at the baby pool. and got teased by the rest. blah. (:
7. he hao with dear. NV TO QUARREL AGAIN!

(: ok, i think i am misusing the smiley face. (: but today is a really happy day! had fun, here and there, all day long.
and today me and marc keep biao ys and casan. LOL. they two so cute. (:
oh well, i got to go sleep early.. tmr still need to go veron house do physics bridge. zzz. STRESS SIA.

finally, it is TODAY.
so now, i have the right to talk to him. good.
dont know, dont care.
wish me luck.

jiu suan shi deng 100000000000000000000000 nian wo ye hui deng ni hui dao wo shen bian. kisskiss.
wo men yi ding hui he hao de.
wo love each other lots. <333

is money really that important to u?
so important ma? that u ignore me?
is money so important to u that u would hurt me because of it?
is it wrong of me to ask u to return him the money?
i know, he took an extra 4 dollars.
does it matter? why must money always be a factor in relationships?

friends quarrel because of money.
a married couple fight because of money.
siblings quarrel for money.

money is not everything, my dear. if it really matters that much to u, i'll return u the money. the 5 dollars, and the 10 dollars u gave him. i'll return everything to u. hao ma? what is it that made u have no mood to talk to me? the fact that i asked u to return the money to him? or the fact that u had to pay 5 dollars for me?
seriously, if i knew u would be pissed off with me, i'll take the money from kiong. just because u are someone i regard close to me, i thought i could rather count on u.

why must u be angry over this. of all things.
is our relationship that fragile?
14 mths. today, 14 mths.
shuo zhen de, ru guo jiu zhe yang jie shu, wo hui hen bu gan yuan.
money doesnt mean anything to me, without it i wont die. maybe i will, physically. but mentally, i wont.
i know it's all at the heat of the moment, i know u love me a lot, i know. but how much love is there for me compared to your love of money?
maybe i think too much, i hope.


i feel like cutting myself. let the pain flow away.

ben chong man zi xin de gan qing, xian yi die ruo gu di.
bu zhi dao ru he que ding, wo men zhi jian de ai yi.
she me shi yi xin, she me shi yi yi?
na jiu shi wo dui ni de zhen xin.
bu neng yi ge du zi zou xia qu,
zhi hao bai tuo ni.
ye xu na ye bu shi jian huai dong xi, kan ni ze me qu ling ting.
wo dui ni de ai mu, yi cheng wei le ju li.
shi wo hai le zi ji, que bu ting de ren xing.
bu guo xing hao shi ni, wo xuan ze de shi ni.
jiu shi na ge ai wo de ni.
suo yi, wo cai mei xian ru kun jing.
zui hou de yi ju, shi zui zhen cheng de yan yu.
yong xin qing ting,
wo xiang shuo de bu guo shi yi ju, WO AI NI. <333

sorry, dear. sorry.

wo bu shi gu yi de.
i dont know why i've become like that a person. i know i'm very wilful, and that you have been tolerating me and giving in to me. i want this, u'll give me. last time, it was u that's taking me for granted, this time, it's me. i'm sorry.

and with all that pressure from home, and the past unpleasent memories of her and u, i really can't bear to lose u. ): i'm scared of this and that, u understand. whenever i know u are connected to her in someway, there's just this tingly feeling inside my body. i feel insecure as though there's no way back. so strong that i can hardly feel other emotions, feelings.

i try too hard. too hard to make u happy, to assure us a forever. i overdo things, u get frustrated with me. i'm just want to say i'm sorry. i'm alone without u. ): i think i can only depend on u. maybe i'm asking too much for u and now u cant cope with it. i dont want to quarrel, not ever. especially not starting the quarrel about her. dun be angry at me anymore, u do know how much i need u by my side.

dont u?

i cant believe that father of mine can talk crap to me about what not the right time for a bf. yada, yada, yada.
what's his crap abt that? disappear to malaysia for 6 mths, leaving my mummy all alone to support the whole family (not as though him being here would help nw). then suddenly come back, scolds all day long. what's his problem? he can kill me for all i care, i'm staying with marc for as long as i live.
he'll just have to live with it.
enough of those not-worth-my-time things.anantha changed my seat in class to in front of the teacher's table. she said many teachers complain that i talk to much to poo. so why cant she change poo's seat? i conclude that she's in love with poo. tsktsk.
maths test was FUN. first time i've ever felt i could get an A2. HAH. that'll prove my ass father wrong.
AND DEAR GOT BLOG LE!! XDsweet~

at huanqing house now.
teach her dota.
ok la. u guys may think that i'm crazy or what but i'm not lor.
dota is a FUN and LOVABLE game which is cute and cute like maple. ty very much.
ask hq if u dun believe me.

seriously, i've nth to blog now but i just don't wan to let my blog die and rot like that.
fuck my com.
RAH.

my fucking computer i dun noe why..
can go into internet but i can't blog.
so i've become so desperate that i'm blogging in sch.
RAH.
so many things have happened this few days.
seriously i dun noe why but i've been feeling pissed off and feel yuan wang.
but somehow i think i'm already used to it.
i'm numb.
there is no use for me to explain all over and over again if ppl dun trust me.
those people whom i expect to trust me and support me are actually betraying me.
people keep accuse me of stuff that i'm not to blame for.
people keep putting weights onto me.
not that i don't care.
i'll just keep quiet, and live alone.
i'm independant.
this few yrs in sec sch has made me work this way.

want to hate me, go ahead.
want to kill me, come on.
want to curse me, i dun care.

i'll live on my own. in my world.
i won't be such an extra or whatever shit ass thingy that i'm blemd for anymore.
maybe i'm too much a busybody or whatever fucking lame ass thing.
so now i wont care about anyone else anymore.
that's it.
that's my aim.

ok, fine. i'm an irritating piece of shit.
RAH.
i only like marc. and marc is the only one i like.
full stop.